Hiding From the World Sequel to the Prodigal Son
by Katnz17
Summary: READ THE PREQUEL FIRST! Jude is adjusting to life as a teen mother but with graduation and the pending deadline of her third album the stress is starting to get to her. When new career opportunity threaten to take Tommy will she break once again?
1. Prologue

This is the sequel to **_The Prodigal Son_**. Please read that story before reading this and please review!

**Synopsis**: Jude is gradually adjusting to life as a teen mother but with graduation on the horizon and the impending deadline of her third album the stress is starting to get to her. When new career opportunity threatens to take Tommy from her she finds herself hiding from the world once again.

**Prologue:**

My name is Jude Harrison and I am 17-years-old. If I were to act 10 years my junior I would inform you that I am in facts 17 and 10 twelfths. Wait, no, I wouldn't be capable of saying that because my 7-year-old self sucked at math even more then my 17-year-old self (hard to believe that's possible, but sadly it is), so my 7-year-old self would in fact tell you I'm 17 and 3 quarters.

Wow, that was a long paragraph just to describe my age. But that's me; always over stating and over thinking things. Thinking can be my worst enemy sometimes.

In two months I'll celebrate my 18th birthday. Personally I think the whole 18 thing is a great bunch of hoopla. I think it's stupid to assume that one day you're a child and the next you're an adult. 6,569 days? OMG! You are such a baby! 6,570? Wow, explain to me the mysteries of the world oh wise and adult one. 9,460,800 minutes on this earth and you're on your own kid. It's all down to you.

Oh dear, you didn't think I did that math myself did you? The fact that all computers and cell phones come with built in laptops is a fact I'm relying on to survive negotiating a world of math.

But anyway, I'll be 18 in two months and that will be good. My sister and I recently got an apartment together but she was the one who signed the lease while the real estate agent practically handed me a lollipop. Well, no, he handed my daughter a lollipop but that's another story.

At 18 I will have full access to my trust fund.

At 18 my boyfriend and I won't be looked upon as wrong. Hopefully.

At 18 I can legally drink alcohol in many parts of the world but then considering my recent behavior that might not necessarily be a good thing.

I'm babbling and this is getting ridiculous. Cut to the chase, Jude.

My name is Jude Harrison and I'm 18 years old. When I was 15 I had a daughter Cassie. I made the biggest mistake of my life and gave her away but God gave me another chance and I got her back. She's my reason for living.

I think I'm in love with my producer Tom Quincy. I sometimes allow myself to believe he feels the same way about me but then we've only been officially dating for a couple of weeks so maybe I'm jumping ahead of myself.

I live with my older sister, Sadie, she's 21. We live in a dinky three bedroom apartment. One bedroom is decorated all in pink for Cassie who is your typical little girl.

I'm graduating from school in a few months and about a month after that I'm releasing my much anticipated third album.

Can life be perfect or is that just a thing of dreams? Do I really want to know the answer? If the answer is no then maybe I want to keep living in my dream world. Maybe I don't want to face reality.


	2. Chapter 1: Adjustment

**Chapter 1: Adjustments**

'I am calm. I'm collected. I can handle this situation. I can handle anything' I muttered to myself as Cassie's screams filled my small apartment.

"Jude! Your kids unhappy!" Sadie yelled from her bedroom.

I crawled out of bed and sleepily staggered toward the door. I was so disorientated I misjudged the location of my door and walked into the wall. Swearing under my breath I ran my hands along the wall as my eyes gradually adjusted to the dark. Eventually I found my way to the door and stepped out into the hallway.

I paused at the door to Sadie's room and glanced inside. She had her pillow over her head, "What happened to super Aunt Sadie?" I mumbled my voice croaky from sleep.

"She's only super from 10am onward" Came Sadie's muffled reply.

"Typical" I muttered. I turned, narrowly avoiding bashing my head into the doorframe as I did so.

I dragged my feet as I walked down the hallway to Cassie's room, "It's ok bubba" I said in my most cheerful voice. Well, most cheerful voice available at 3am, "Mommy's here"

Cassie was sitting upright in her bed hiding underneath her baby blue polka dotted bedspread. "There's a monsta!" She wailed.

"Where?" I pulled the blanket away from her face and smiled at her, "I don't see a monster"

I pretended to look under her bed and in the closet, "No monsters here"

She'd stopped crying but her cheeks glistened with tears as she looked at me skeptically. I had to fight the urge to laugh out loud. I'd worn the same expression on many occasions. It was something about our foreheads, or maybe it was our noses but when we frowned Cassie and I looked identical.

"Come on" I walked over and scooped her up, "You can sleep in Mommy's bed tonight"

She grinned and wrapped her arms around me as she nuzzled her face into my neck.

I smiled to myself as I walked back to my room, remembering Tommy's comment to call him to fight away imaginary monsters. I highly doubt he'd appreciate a phone call at 3am and yet, the thought was so devilishly appealing.

---

I yawned sleepily as I walked into G-Major the next morning. It was a Saturday and Sadie had heroically offered to baby-sit for Sadie (Super Aunt Sadie returns) while she ran some errands. I figured I had about two hour's studio time before I needed to get home to look after Cassie.

I had a bunch of e-mail interviews I needed to do and I figured I could do those while Cassie watched _Dora the Explorer_; her favorite show.

"What's with you?" Tommy asked as he brushed past me then opened the door to Studio 2 for me to enter. "You look exhausted"

"Oh you know. I couldn't stop thinking about you last night and couldn't sleep" I winked.

He nodded, "Of course. I should have known" He closed the door behind us then enveloped me in a hug.

We'd been attempting to keep our relationship low key at G-Major. Tommy was still in the bad books with Darius and we didn't want to do anything to jeopardize his job or bring any further negative press to me.

The press had had a field day when they learned Cassie was my daughter. Shall we say some of the things they said about me, and the words they used to describe me… weren't nice.

When a damage control meeting was called at G-Major, after I announced I was re-adopting my daughter, it was established that my image as a teen role model would definitely be damaged. Mothers had felt secure in allowing their daughters to listen to my music and follow my career as I'd always had a clean image. With my recent partying during Tommy's departure then the Instant daughter that appeared over night… some mothers wouldn't be so sure about that anymore. Kinda like when that BackStreet Boy entered rehab.

I need to go public with my side of the story - we decided on that pretty quickly. My public relations consultant advised me to go on some Oprah Winfreyish show talking about Cassie and why I gave her up and how much she meant to me. She advised that if I threw in a few tears and some advice to young girls about staying away from the wrong kind of guys, that I might be able to fix some of the damage that had been done.

Darius is all for booking an appearance on a talk show but there's a few problems to be resolved before we do that.

"What's on your mind?" Tommy asked as he slowly released me and placed a light kiss on my forehead, "You look like you're trying to solve an algebra equation or something"

I shuddered, "Spare me." I nibbled on my lip, debating how much I should say to Tommy, "I was just worried about this whole talk show appearance about Cassie."

"It'll be fine, Jude" Tommy said with a reassuring smile, "I'm sure you'll handle it fine"

"It's not that" I said as I nervously turned to the sound board and unconsciously turned a dial and flicked a random switch.

Without breaking his gaze from me, Tommy reached over and flicked the switch back and readjusted the dial.

"It's just-" I glanced down at my hands, suddenly feeling very nauseous, "It's Cassie's dad" I said, sneaking a glance at Tommy's face. His expression had changed from encouraging optimism to something dark and unreadable.

"He doesn't know, Tommy" I sighed, "He never knew I got pregnant with his… our baby. He doesn't even know she exists. I can't go on National television and tell the world about my daughter when her own father doesn't even know. It doesn't seem right"

"You don't owe him anything Jude" Anger was creeping into Tommy's voice and I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to ward off the chill that was creeping over me. Not from his anger, or the closed off expression that had made its way onto his face but because of the uncomfortable new intimacy of our conversation. I didn't want to discuss Jake with Tommy. I felt dirty at the thought of him and I felt vulnerable and naked around Tommy when it came up.

"He practically raped you, Jude"

I shook my head, "No, he didn't."

"Don't defend that scum" He said quietly

I tipped my head to the side slightly and looked at him intently, "But he didn't Tommy. I allowed myself to get into a stupid and dangerous situation. I flirted with him, I was a tease. I should never have agreed to go that party and I should never have agreed to go into that bedroom with him. Things got out of hand and he's certainly not innocent of all wrongdoing but it wasn't all him"

"You said no"

I nodded, "And then I didn't."

He turned away from me and I looked down at my feet as my heart plummeted.

How does he feel about me? About this? Is he really ok with it? Does he really think of me and care for me the way he did before Cassie?

"Tommy?" I whispered.

"I…" He paused and sighed, "I think we should work on that new song"

I nodded sadly, "Ok"

Is what Tommy and I have a thin strand of affection that's twisting and fraying in this storm of adjustment? Could it break?


	3. Chapter 2: Didn't he?

**Chapter 2: Didn't he?**

I gazed at my reflection critically. My hair seemed too white, my eyes too dull and my skin far too pale for the big Hollywood-in-Toronto premier I was leaving to attend.

"You look fine Jude" Sadie said as she paused at the doorway, with Cassie in her arms. She smiled at me reassuringly.

"I don't know…" I frowned, "Maybe I shouldn't go. I mean, there'll be paporazzi and press there and I haven't gone to such a big event since Cassie. I'll be fending off questions all night"

"You'll have to go to the first event since Cassie sooner or late, Jude. Why not sooner? Get it over and done with it, it might not even be that bad, then you can relax and move on with your life."

I frowned and bit my lip, turning back to the mirror, "I don't even have a date. I hate walking the red carpet alone"

"What about Tommy?" Sadie asked as she shifted Cassie from one hip to the other and made a face at her. Cassie laughed gleefully.

I nodded, "He's going but we're not going together. We're not ready to go public about our relationship yet"

Sadie raised an eyebrow, "'We're' not or he's not?"

I glanced over at her, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Sadie shrugged then walked off down the hallway, "Have fun Jude" she called over her shoulder.

I turned back to my mirror glancing at my reflection one more time and muttering to myself 'Once again, this will have to do' like Mia at the beginning of iThe Princess Diaries/I, before grabbing my purse and heading for my car.

What was Sadie implying? _Was_ she implying? Or was I just over analyzing again?

Fantastic, just what I need; another reason to doubt Tommy's love for me and commitment to our relationship. My own paranoia does a good enough job on that without any evidence to back it up.

---

"Jude! Jude! Smile! Over here!" The obnoxiously loud sea of paporazzi called as I nervously strolled down the red carpet. There was a carefree and happy smile on my face but only because I knew they were far enough away to not notice I was shaking.

I smiled at the people on my left, those in front of me, and then those to my right as my cheeks started to ache.

"Tommy!" The paporazzi yelled – seemingly all at once, "Pose with Jude!"

I glanced down the carpet to see Tommy getting out of a luxury SUV and walking over to me. We exchanged casual smiles while our eyes exchanged more personal greetings.

Tommy smiled and waved at the paporazzi before placing a hand on the small of my back, we both smiled angelically for the crowd.

"How are you enjoying your first appearance?" Tommy whispered.

"So far it's ok, I guess" I mumbled through my smile. I'd been smiling non stop for the last 10 minutes and was starting to worry I might not be able to stop, like maybe the smile was plastered to my lips and I've had to walk around for the rest of my life with my teeth showing and my cheeks aching.

"So what are these rumors we hear about you dating?" One paporazzo asked. He was at the front of the row and only a few feet from us.

"I don't like to dignify rumors by giving them the time of day" I replied.

Tommy rubbed his hand on my back in a comforting way that no one could see, "Jude and I care greatly for each other" He said, surprising me, "We have a close working relationship. These rumors are nothing new; in fact we've been fielding them since Jude started work on her debut album"

The paporazzo smirked in a way that conveyed the message, 'I don't believe that for one second'.

"Kiss her!" A voice called from somewhere in the crowd, before long others joined in till it seemed the sea of people before us were all yelling the same thing. Like the spectators at the Coliseum screaming for blood in Ancient Rome.

Ok, maybe that's a little over dramatic.

I glanced at Tommy who just smiled before leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.

It was a gentle, warm and caring kiss that could be exchanged between any two people in any platonic relationship but I couldn't help but wonder if the paporazzi noticed, like I did, the way his lips lingered a few seconds longer then necessary, or the small sigh that escaped my lips as his touched my cheek, or the way his hand slid from it's position on the small of my back to capture my hand in his and lace our fingers together (behind us and out view of the all intrusive flashing of the cameras, of course.)

---

The premier had been an afternoon occasion so when Jude invited Tommy back to her place to visit Cassie afterwards, he'd happily agreed.

Having known him for longer Cassie was still more comfortable around him then with Jude. At first it had been awkward and he'd found himself avoiding spending time with Cassie and Jude together. He knew Jude still felt bad about the fact that her daughter still viewed her as a stranger; the fact that she viewed her boyfriend as a something of a father figure never helped the situation.

But time had passed and Tommy new Jude and Cassie had been bonding. Plus he really missed Cassie.

"I'm back!" Jude called as she walked through the front door of her apartment and motioned for Tommy to follow. Her announcement was followed by silence. She glanced at Tommy and rolled her eyes, "Don't like, die, from the excitement or anything" She turned to Tommy "Hey, you want a coffee?"

"I'm dying for a coffee" He responded with a smile as he reached out and messed Jude's hair with his hand. She smiled then started walking down the hallway toward the kitchen,

Tommy frowned. He'd been finding the adjustment period of dating Jude difficult. Over the years he'd known her he'd forced himself to view her as a child, as someone too young for him, even as a little sister. Granted there'd been some definite deviations where his heart had ruled his mind or whatever way you'd describe it.

But now they were dating and occasionally he'd find himself feeling awkward with their new found intimacy. They had a chaste relationship at this point in time so that wasn't the problem, but after years of telling himself it was wrong and to not even think about it he sometimes felt guilty when he kissed her. So he'd do something like messing with her hair or giving her a hug.

He couldn't decide what was wrong with him. What young guy wouldn't want to kiss his girlfriend? Especially when his girlfriend was Jude?

This guilt was the same reason he didn't want to go public with his relationship with Jude. He'd given her reasonable excuses that had stopped her from inquiring further and in the meantime he kept telling himself it was just an adjustment. Things would change.

He loved her… didn't he?


	4. Chapter 3: Veronica

**Chapter 3: Veronica**

I was sitting in the kitchen with Tommy as we discussed the events of our celebrity premier and sipped our lattes.

Sadie had been right. I felt so much better now I'd put my first public appearance behind me. And it really hadn't been that bad. Maybe I really had been thinking too much and letting my paranoia get the best of me.

"You're back!" Sadie declared as she walked into the room.

Cassie was standing on her feet and giggling as Sadie walked her around the house but when she glanced over her shoulder and spotted Tommy she let out a gleeful squeal and threw herself at him.

"Woah!" Tommy cried as he quickly put down his steaming cup of coffee, narrowly avoiding spilling it. He reached down and scooped up Cassie who threw tiny arms around him and buried her face in his chest, "How are you doing Squee?" He asked tenderly.

"Squee?" Sadie and I asked in unison.

Tommy smiled, almost shyly, "It's my nickname for her. Cause she squeals a lot"

Cassie maneuvered her head so that she was still leaning against Tommy but could see me, "He's my Tommy-teddy" She whispered, rolling the words 'Tommy' and 'Teddy' together so they became one jumbled word.

"And that'd be her name for me" Tommy supplied.

I glanced down at my latte, stirring it with a spoon and watching as the foam blended in shades of white and brown as a lump formed in the back of my throat.

"That's so sweet" Sadie said, "So I take it you guys can take it from her cause I have to meet Kwest?"

I nodded at her, "Bye Sadee!" Cassie squealed as she leaped out of Tommy's arms and ran over to hug Sadie's leg. "Come see my woom!" Cassie cried, waving madly at Tommy to come with her before racing out of the room.

Tommy followed but I stayed where I was. Cassie's room was across the hall and if I leaned forward I could see into the room. Cassie's voice carried to me as she showed Tommy all her new toys. I hadn't seen her this animated in a long while.

"This is my steweo!" She smiled as she pointed at her bright pink kids radio.

"You have a steweo huh?" Tommy asked as he crouched down on the floor next to her. "What's your favorite song?"

"Bunnies" She replied matter-of-factly, "It's green!"

"It's green? You've got a green song?" He glanced over his shoulder at my questioningly but I just smiled and shrugged.

Cassie nodded then clicked a button on her CD player, she then carefully took out the green CD and handed it to Tommy, "See!"

He nodded, "I see. You know what? I like green songs too but my favorite is red. Do you have any red songs?"

He eyes widened and she nodded madly before dashing out of my range of vision to the other side of her room "Come see!" I heard her call.

I laughed to myself and left them to their discussion of song colors.

If my song were a right color right now it would be purple. A little rosy pink for how perfect my life appears to be but just a touch of blue for my insecurities that despite my constant attempts to push them away, are currently dancing around my feet.

---

Tommy and I were watching a _Friends_ re-run in the living room. Cassie was sitting between us on the sofa, her feet on my lap and her head on Tommy's. Every now and then she'd make little squeaking noises that didn't quite count as snoring but certainly earns points for cuteness.

Tommy glanced at his watch then down at Cassie, "I should be going" He said regretfully. I have a meeting with Darius in about half an hour"

I raise an eyebrow, "Really? What abou-" I stopped and raised a hand, "Ignore me. It's probably none of my business"

He smiled as he gently lifted Cassie's head so he could slide out from under her, "No. It's fine. I'm not really sure what it's about yet. He just said he needed to talk to me" He noticed my concerned expression, "Don't worry. I didn't get the impression it was anything bad"

He leaned down to kiss me on the forehead but I lifted my face up and pressed my lips to his instead. It was a sweet and tender kiss as his hand brushed a strand of hair behind my ear then lingered on the back of my neck. I wished I could just stay in that moment for as long as I liked but all too soon, he pulled away.

"See you at the studio tomorrow?" He asked questioningly.

I nodded, "I'll work on that song tonight"

He smiled again then left.

I glanced down at Cassie who stretched then rolled onto her side so he face was pressed to the back of the sofa. She yawned then was silent and still.

On the TV screen the friends were debating over a bowl of lottery tickets, in the process they were losing what really mattered – their friendship. It eventually took a threat from Phoebe of losing all the tickets to realize that friendship was more important then money. Friendship is better then wealth any day and family is even more important.

---

Dusk was settling in as Tommy pulled up in front of G-Major records. The parking lot was empty as it was after hours.

He frowned as he walked inside, wondering what Darius wanted to talk to him about. It was unusual for Darius to make an appointment to discuss something with you, usually (and especially with Tommy) he'd just demand the time right then and there.

"Tommy" Darius acknowledged as he walked inside, "You're late, man"

"Sorry" Tommy shrugged, not feeling sorry at all.

"Come through to my office. There's someone I want you to meet"

Tommy confidently swaggered to the door, determined not to show how nervous he'd suddenly become. What, or more precisely - who he found in Darius' office left him speechless.

"Tom Quincy" The attractive blonde seated at Darius' desk stood up and smiled, revealing blindingly perfect white teeth, "It's been awhile"

Tommy swallowed, the sound resembling a gulp though he chose to ignore that, "Veronica." He nodded coolly, "It certainly has."

He didn't dare to even mutter it under his breath but the thought ran through his mind, completely unhindered, '_Not nearly long enough.'_


	5. Chapter 4: The storm

**Chapter 4: The Storm**

I glanced through the glass window to studio B as I walked over to the door. Tommy was sitting in his usual position in front of the soundboard and staring blankly at one of the knobs in front of him.

I knocked lightly on the door before walking in, "Good Morning" I smiled.

He glanced up at me and smiled, though I noticed the smile didn't reach his eyes. They remained clouded and distant, "Hey girl" He stood up and gave me a hug before returning to his chair and avoiding my gaze.

"Everything ok?" I asked as I placed my bag on an empty chair and got out my song journal.

He nodded.

"Did the meeting with Darius go ok?" I asked, desperately curious but not wishing to appear as if I were prying.

He mumbled something incoherently before motioning for me to hand him my journal, "How's that song going?"

I shrugged, trying not to look disappointed by the lack of an answer, "The bridge is a little weak and there's a line in the chorus that isn't working but it's coming along"

He flipped through the journal then scanned my song. He nodded and glanced at me before fiddling with some dials on the soundboard, "It's good"

I tried not to appear disappointed at his lack of enthusiasm, "Um, so should we put down some vocals or maybe work on the music?"

"Sure" He nodded then realized he hadn't answered the questions "Vocals would be good."

I frowned as I took my place in the recording booth. Since I'd arrived he hadn't once made eye contact with me. I hadn't done anything, right? He wasn't mad at me. He was just acting extremely strange.

And with Tommy, that was never a good thing.

---

Meanwhile at the G-Major reception area Kwest was leaning against Sadie's desk and smiling goofily, "So, I was thinking, we're really due for a nice romantic dinner you know? Get out of the house, maybe go dancing afterwards. What do you think?"

Sadie bit her lip and finished typing up the memo she'd been working on, "What time were you thinking?"

"Seven?"

"I have to baby-sit for Jude tonight." Sadie said apologetically, "She's got this photo shoot. She's been so busy lately she could only schedule it in the evening."

Kwest glanced over his shoulder, he could see Jude singing her heart out in the studio and Tommy looking like he was sleepwalking…. Well, sleep-sitting - in the sound booth. The guy had been acting weird all day.

"How's she doing?" He asked Sadie, concerned for the girl he thought of as a little sister."

She nodded, "She's doing well. Cassie's really starting to come around. She's a happy kid"

Kwest grinned as an idea occurred to him. "Maybe we could take Cassie with us!"

"On a romantic dinner?" Sadie giggled.

"Well we could scrap the romantic dinner and throw in McDonalds but it could still be fun. Kids are fun right?"

Sadie smiled, "That sounds like a great idea."

---

Five hours of awkward near silence with Tommy and I'd never been this happy to leave G-Major for the day. Sadie and Kwest had left about ten minutes earlier to pick up Cassie from daycare so except for my photo shoot in half I was free for the night.

"Well, see you tomorrow, I guess" I said as I put on my jack and slung my purse over one shoulder. I glanced to where Tommy was sitting by the soundboard; he hadn't heard a word I said.

Sighing I gave up and left the room, the curiosity was killing me but I knew better then to pressure Tommy when he was like this.

Outside it was starting to rain and angry storm clouds where weaving through the darkening sky above me. I unlocked my car and climbed in, then paused for a moment with my hands on the steering wheel as I peered through the windscreen at the sky.

Raindrops splashed on the windscreen angrily, like tears falling as thunder crashed ominously.


	6. Chapter 5: McDonalds and Photoshoots

**Chapter 5: McDonalds and Photoshoots**

It took a full ten minutes for Tommy to notice Jude's absence. It seemed as if he'd looked around him a moment ago and the studio had been fully lit with people bustling around and Darius barking out orders, then he glanced up and the place was eerily quiet, with only the light from Studio B spilling out into the empty main room.

"Jude?" He called hesitantly, not expecting an answer.

None came.

Standing, he swore under his breath and kicked a swivel chair. It rolled across the room where it crashed into the slightly ajar door. The door let out a creaking, grudging groan as it slowly swung shut, the latch clicking into place and echoing throughout the empty building.

Sinking to the floor he put his head in his hands and groaned as he though over the events of the last 24 hours and the events that were likely to take place sometime in the next 24 days.

---

Cassie clapped her hands happily and bounced around in her car seat as she, Kwest and Sadie pulled up in front of McDonalds.

"Yummy, yum, yum" She mumbled to herself as Sadie unbuckled her seat belt and helped her out of the car. Sadie took one hand and Kwest the other as they negotiated the busy car park. Every few feet the two of them would swing her into the air which resulted in a flurry of giggles.

Sadie and Cassie chose a window seat that overlooked the children's play area. Cassie watched with wide eyes as the kids crawled through the brightly colored plastic tubing, laughing and calling to create a symphony of happy noise. Cassie ducked her head shyly as one little boy stood in front of the window and made faces her.

Sadie laughed as she observed the two then waved to catch Kwest's attention as he walked toward them with a heaped tray of food.

"Look what I've got for you little lady" Kwest said as he placed a happy meal on the table in front of Cassie.

Her dashing young suitor was instantly forgotten as Cassie spun around and gleefully spotted the meal. She opened the box and took out her nuggets, her French fries and finally her toy. She placed them on the table in front of her and stared at them happily.

"I think she's a little overwhelmed" Kwest said with a smile as he watched Cassie.

Sadie laughed, "You'd think she was a poor deprived child who never got fed empty calories at fast food establishments. The poor abused little thing"

"What toy did you get?" Kwest asked.

Cassie smiled and handed him a mini puppy dog soft toy, still in its wrapper.

"Wow!" He said, pretending to be impressed, "Can I open it?"

Cassie nodded seriously.

"What are you going to call him?" Sadie asked before taking a sip from her soda.

"Her" Cassie said with a frown.

"Right" Sadie nodded. "Of course she's a her. My mistake" She shook her head, "Silly Aunt Sadie"

"I'm going to call her Annabelle" Cassie said to Kwest.

He nodded approvingly. "She looks like an Annabelle to me."

---

'_Who am I fooling? I'm just a smiling face in a make-believe world._' I hummed to myself as the photographer directed me in various poses. With each flash of the camera I fought the urge to blink and rub my eyes like Cassie does when she's tired.

Photo shoots can be fun sometimes but right then I just wasn't in the mood for superficiality and pretend smiles.

I've never seen the beauty in a fake smile, it's pointless and painful. A true smile starts growing in the heart till the body can no longer contain it and it spills out over the edges, washing over a persons face and entire demeanor.

Like the smiles on my face when I'm around Cassie and my smile the first time Tommy told me he loved me. The overwhelmed and stunned smile on my face when I won Instant Star would qualify, as would the smile when I first learnt Sadie and Kwest were dating.

But the true smiles were outnumbered by the fakes. Like the smile on my face when I tried to be strong for my mother after Dad cheated on her, how I'd walk around and act like I was fine and unaffected; to convince her she didn't need to worry about me. There were the fake smiles when I first learnt there was going to be a second Instant Star. The smiles following my break-up with Shay, as I tried to convince the world, and myself, that I was fine.

Then there was the smile on my face right now.

'_Pretending I'm a perfect girl_

---

Cassie was confidently crawling around in the children's play area, accompanied by her young suitor who was obviously doting on her. He'd follow her around the room and offer her toys, smiling this little puppy dog smile. Cassie wasn't quite oblivious of his attention, she didn't seem to care much but she knew how to make the most of the situation, enlisting him as something of a servant.

"She learns quickly," Kwest observed as he and Sadie watched, "Did she learn that particular skill from you?"

Sadie rolled her eyes and punched him lightly in the arm before returning to her chocolate sundae, "You're good with kids" She said quietly as she stirred the hot fudge and Ice Cream together. She feigned bored disinterest in the topic.

"So are you" Kwest responded, acting equally casual.

"I'd like to have kids someday" Sadie said, smiling into her sundae.

"Me too" Kwest responded, smiling at her.


	7. Chapter 6: Veronica, Guy and Sprinklers

**Chapter 6: Veronica, Guy and attacking Sprinklers**

"Did you know there's a song named Cassie?" I asked Tommy as the two of us lounged about in the studio.

He was still acting unusual but not as bad as yesterday. He'd apologized profusely for not noticing my departure but I pretended it was no big deal.

"Really?" He asked, in response to my 'Cassie' song mention. He was spinning his swivel chair as much as being a mature twenty-four year old would allow, which is, in fact, quite a lot.

"'I will say yes' is the main lyric" I smiled, "I like that."

Tommy swung his chair a little too hard and it toppled to the side. Laughing I reached out to try to catch him but his weight through my off and we both went crashing to the floor, just as the door to the studio opened.

"So this is the creative process?" A gorgeous blonde woman asked, as she smiled at us in an amused and condescending manner. She was about the same age as Tommy and perfectly manicured with not one of her perfect blonde curls out of place.

"Veronica." Tommy, who had a moment ago cracked his first smile in 24 hours, quickly became serious and scrambled to his feet, "I wasn't expecting you in today."

She shrugged, "I thought I'd make a quick, surprise visit. They're always the most fun, don't you think?" She raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Tommy glared at her.

Tiring of the tension in the room I took a step forward and smiled, "Well, I certainly like surprises" I said with forced cheerfulness, "The good ones anyway. They're the spice of life, I guess you could say." I was starting to babble, but I couldn't stop "The bad ones aren't so hot, like this one time the guys in my band – SME – surprised me when we were on tour by-"

Tommy knew the story and shot me a warning glare that implied the message 'Not the time, Jude'

"But you don't want to hear horrific tour stories involving teenage guys." I said quickly with a forced laugh, "I'm Jude by the way" I stuck out my hand for her to shake.

"Right" She nodded and shook my hand gingerly, a fake smile plastered on her face, "The famous Jude. Or should I say infamous?"

I frowned, Tommy frowned and Veronica smiled that same condescending smile.

"Well, I should be going;" She said, "I have a lunch date" She glanced at Tommy again; looking him up and down like wolf examining his prey or an attractive woman checking out the guy she's pursuing. I felt a chill run down my spine at the sight of it. "Bye Tommy" She glanced at me momentarily, "Bye Jude"

"Bye" I said weekly, watching her walk away with her perfect legs and her pencil thin waist. Wasn't it enough that an older woman was pursuing my boyfriend – a woman his age, maturity and on his confidence level? It's simply unfair that she was gorgeous too.

I turned to Tommy and eyed him questioningly.

"Uh," He raised one finger as if urging me to stop, "Um. I-" He glanced around him and reached for his jacket, "I just remembered I had something to do"

"Something?" I smirked, "Wow, no need to be so descriptive."

He smiled and in that split second the same self assured and teasing Tommy was back, "No need to be so nosy."

I sighed in frustration as he left the room, "You know avoidance only prolongs the suffering."

He turned to face me so that he was walking backward for a few steps, "Who's practicing avoidance?" He raised his hands and shrugged, "Keep working on that song, it's nearly done"

---

Two hours later Tommy still hadn't returned from his 'something' and I decided I was sick of waiting. I couldn't get the chorus right on my song, the more time I spent on it; the more I ended up hating it.

I grabbed my backpack and carelessly tossed my journal inside before leaving the studio without so much as a backward glance.

"Jude!" Guy waved to me as I reached the G-Major Lobby.

I paused to wait as he ran across the room, smiling politely, "Hey Guy. How've you been?"

He shrugged, "Aww you know. I'm cool, can't complain, can't complain" He struck a hip hop pose with his hands facing his chest in a 'give the man his props' manner and a mock arrogant expression on his face.

I burst out laughing and he smiled, "But seriously. I'm doing well. We're finishing up the last song on the album today and I'm real excited. It's sounding tight, even if I do say so myself"

"Oh G, that's great" I gave him an impromptu hug, "I remember the last day of work on my first album. The thrill when it's finally done is just, unbelievable"

"I can't wait, I really can't" He smiled, one of those genuine smiles that start in the heart and spill over the edges. I was stuck once again by what a truly handsome guy he was. Truthfully, any girl would be lucky to have him. He was funny, sweet, intelligent, talented, gorgeous and set to be huge. What's not to like.

But then I have my perfectly wonderful, if perhaps a little moody and emotionally absent boyfriend and I'm not looking or anything like that.

"So anyway," Guy continued, completely unaware of the praise I'd just heaped upon him in my mind, "Me and the crew are going out clubbing tonight. You know, to celebrate. If you feel like getting away you're welcome to join us."

I nodded, "Thanks G. I'll see if I can make it.

"A'Ight" He struck his hip hop pose again and put his second and third finger to his lips then held them up in a salute, "Peace out!"

I was still chuckling to myself as I left G-Major and headed to Cassie's daycare.

---

Cassie was wilting; I observed as she sat across the kitchen table from me and slowly ate her sandwich. Her skin was flushed and pink and it seemed every bite of food took way too much effort.

I couldn't blame her. I felt the same. Today had started out pretty cool but then turned into one of the hottest days we'd experienced so far this year. I inwardly wished I had a swimming pool.

"You finished?" I asked Cassie as she chewed the last bite of her sandwich and stared down at her plate.

She nodded sadly.

"You want some Ice cream?"

She nodded happily.

I got her an Ice cream cone with sprinkles, in one of her favorite overly colorful cones then suggested we should go outside and eat them in the cool afternoon breeze. She nodded absentmindedly, her full attention on her Ice Cream which was starting to drip in the heat.

While Cassie sat on the back steps I walked out into the garden and examined the wilting flowers. I'd never been a gardener. In fact, I probably couldn't tell you the different between a cucumber plant and a geranium. I had, however, learnt about photosynthesis in school and knew the simple factor that plants needed water.

I glanced about me, shading my eyes from the sun with one hand, as I looked for the hose. Eventually I spotted it a few feet to the left of where Cassie was sitting.

She watched with a slight frown as I dragged the hose out into the garden and fiddled with the sprinkler thingy on the end. "I have no idea what I'm doing" I said, more to myself then her.

She continued eating her Ice cream, keeping a wary eye on me the entire time.

I eventually felt confident the sprinkler thingy was on correctly which left me with one last mission; the water. "Honey, can you see the tap anywhere?" I asked Cassie, not really expecting her to know, or even understand what I was asking.

She nodded and pointed to her right, without even looking. Sure enough, there was the tap, in obvious view. I blushed.

After some straining against the rusted old tap, I managed to turn it on. A quick glance at the sprinkler revealed no bubbling clear liquid of life rushing toward the flowers that would lift their petals to the sky and sing their thanks to 'Oh kind Jude'. Wait, maybe that was a Disney film…

I put my hands on my hips and glanced back at Cassie, who was now finishing off the last of her cone. She watched me seriously, "Right" I said to myself, quietly, "You have to work this thing out now or you're going to look like an idiot in front of your kid."

I gingerly walked over to the sprinkler system, eyeing it as if the hose were an actual snake about to spring up, swirl into life and clobber me to death with a sprinkler.

I knelt down beside the offending object and after some examination I spotted a lever that I turned to the left. Instantly water shot up into the air, splashing my face and dousing my clothes. I screamed in surprise and dropped the sprinkler which left it free to curl up into the air from the pressure of the water. It spun around madly, continuing to douse me with water. In retrospect I should have realized the pins attached to the sprinkler weren't just for decoration.

I was still screeching angrily and trying to pounce on the hose, which was now every inch a lively snake, when I noticed Cassie's joyful laughter. I glanced over my shoulder to see her racing toward me with her arms in the air. She stood under the falling water from the sprinkler with her mouth open as she caught drops of water on her tongue.

I smiled and quit my attempt to strangle the hose, simply watching Cassie as she spun around happily and laughed her tinkling little girl laugh.

When is it that we forget to appreciate the simpler things in life? Is there a particular age where things stop being exciting, fun and new but rather tiresome, slow and aggravating?

I tried to remember the last time I'd danced under a sprinkler, or built a fort in my living room. When had I last dreamt up Kings and Queens who lived in the houses in my neighborhood, or dreamt I could walk on a cloud? Could I even remember that time when a simple Ice Cream or a hug from my father or mother could boost my entire mood?

I stood up and offered Cassie my hands. She happily grasped them with her own chubby little fingers and I spun her around in the air happily as the drops of water sparkled in the afternoon light and her laughter filled the air like the sweetest of music.


	8. Chapter 7: How do you prepare yourself?

**Chapter 7: How do you prepare yourself?**

Tommy slowly climbed out of his car and absentmindedly kicking the door shut behind him as he stared up at Jude's house. He reached up and ran a hand through his overly styled hair and shuffled his feet before slowly embarking up the footpath.

He paused on the doorstep momentarily before ringing the doorbell, during which time he observed the near chaos ringing throughout the house. There were joyful, hyperactive and loud noises from Cassie and the occasional flustered instruction from Jude, "Cassie! Put that down!" and "Honey, can't you just sit and watch TV while Mommy gets ready?" and then, after Tommy rang the doorbell, "No, let Mommy answer the door. Remember we talked about this?"

A moment later the door swung open and Tommy was face to face with a flustered Jude. Her hair was loose except for one half which had been French braided. She was wearing foundation but hadn't yet applied blusher, which resulted in her looking pale and washed out. As for her clothes, she was simply wearing a bath robe.

"Are you… um, going out?" Tommy guessed, though he felt unsure.

"Uh-huh," Jude nodded while glancing over her shoulder in search of Cassie, "Cassie! It's Tommy. Come and say hi!" She turned to Tommy, "I've got half an hour to get ready and drop her of at the baby-sitters. Could you maybe watch her for me for, like, ten minutes while I do my hair and make-up?"

"Um, I kind of needed to talk to you about something" Tommy tried to muster up the courage to follow through on his plan.

"Ah, can it wait?" Jude paused, "Maybe?" She smiled nervously, trying not to appear harsh.

"I guess" He knew if he conceded it would be just prolonging the suffering as Jude had said earlier that day, "But it's kind of important" He glanced at her again, "Where are you going anywhere?"

"Clubbing" She responded as she started walking toward the stairs, "Guy's having a celebration for wrapping his album" she glanced over her shoulder at him and paused, "Oh, I would have invited you but I know you don't want to go public about us and you and Guy aren't really getting along or anything so…"

"Don't worry about it. It's fine" Though he found himself doubting the validity of those words as they escaped his mouth.

"Great" She smiled brightly. "So could you watch Jude for a moment for me?" She turned and raced up the stairs before he could answer.

Turning away Tommy muttered under his breath, "A moment? Yeah, right."

---

I stood in front of my mirror, nervously patting down the occasional loose strand of hair that had escaped my hurried braiding. My hair wasn't perfect but then I wasn't going to the Grammy's, I was attending a local club. No big deal.

I glanced down at my dress. It wasn't as risqué as the number I'd worn to the club that time Tommy saved me from the obnoxious psycho fan but it was a little revealing. I second-guessed my decision as I observed the shortness of the dress and the way it clung perhaps a little too tightly in some areas but I brushed the thought away. It was fine.

I grabbed my purse from my bed and made my way downstairs.

"I'm ready!" I called as I walked into the lounge. Tommy and Cassie were sitting on the sofa together, watching the Cartoon Network. Cassie was lying face down on the sofa with her chin propped up on Tommy's knee and her head facing the TV. She was kicking her legs up into the air, like she was swimming in an imaginary swimming pool as her animated expression followed the antics of the colorful creatures on screen.

Tommy glanced at me, and then did a second take, "You're wearing that?" He asked, as his jaw dropped.

"Yeah," I glanced down again then self-consciously folded my arms over my chest in an attempt to hide the dress. "Look, they're expecting Cassie at the baby-sitters so I better get her across there. It's just across the street so..." I turned and started for the foyer, hoping to get away from Tommy's expression – a combination of appreciation and concern.

He met me in the foyer, with Cassie in tow. I retrieved her coat from the closet and quickly slipped it on as she blinked sleepily and rubbed her eyes. I turned to get my coat but Tommy had beaten me to it. He stood behind me and held it up for me as I slid my arms into the sleeves, then slowly brought the seams together in front as his arms loosely circled my waist. He leaned down, so that his warm breath was tickling my ear, "You look great" He whispered.

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his and hugged them to me, "I really wish you could come with me tonight" I whispered.

---

"Wow, Jude!" Guy grinned as I walked into the club, "You look great!"

"You don't look half bad yourself" I smiled as he kissed me on the cheek quickly, "So you must be feeling pretty good about now?"

He nodded, "The feeling of relief and excitement. It's great. A natural high" He motioned to the group of people that were milling around, "You know everyone, right?"

I nodded in greeting to the familiar faces around me and gradually they began to disperse as couples ventured out onto the dance floor and some made their way to the bar, leaving a handful of people still standing with Guy and I.

"So, we've been taking bets on the success of Guy's album" A pretty young back-up singer from G-Major said to me, "I'm saying Platinum within the first couple of months. Want in?"

I smiled at Guy, "Gold in the first month. Over a million units by the end of the year"

His eyebrows rose happily, "I like this girl" He said to his friends as he nodded to me, "She's great for your ego."

I laughed.

Guy and some of his male friends began discussing the new car Guy had purchased yesterday and the back-up singer pulled me aside, along with one of the female musicians, I'd seen around G-Major, "So, what's the latest girls?" She asked.

The musician, who's named I finally remembered as Kay, shrugged, "I'm totally out of the loop at G lately. Come on Shelly. You're usually the one with the scoop"

Shelly smiled, "Well; I did see Tom Quincy out with a mystery blonde today"

I'd been listening with little more then polite interest but when Tommy's name came up I began to pay more attention.

"Really?" Kay asked. She shivered, "Quincy is so cute!"

"Yeah," Shelly continued, "I think I saw her at G-Major the other day; in a meeting with Darius or something. She was familiar anyway"

I feigned casual interest, "Her name wasn't Veronica by any chance; tall, with curly blonde hair?"

Kay nodded, "Veronica! That sounds about right"

Kay smiled, "Ah, the G-Major soap opera. You've gotta love it. I guess you must be relieved Jude. Maybe now the press will finally stop with those rumors about you and Tommy dating"

I nodded, "Yeah, maybe…"

A moment later Guy appeared at my shoulder and asked if I'd like to dance. My insides were churning with neurosis, betrayal and heartbreak but I pushed the thoughts, the doubts out of my mind, "I'd love to" I answered Guy as I determined to just let loose and have a good time.

Hide from the world for just one night. Because like it or not, the problems would all be there tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 8: Kaboom!

**Chapter 8: Kaboom!**

Sipping his steaming hot coffee, Tommy strolled down the street on his way to G-Major. It had been a crisp, clear morning and he needed the time to clear his head so he'd decided to walk.

He watched the bricks flash beneath his feet as he strode down Main Street, weaving through the occasional passer by but acknowledging no one.

He paused, as he did many mornings, outside a bookshop and absentmindedly perused the tabloid covers. He generally checked for any mention of himself, Jude or the other artists at G-Major. At first nothing caught his eye, until he noticed a small picture on the corner of one of the magazines. Jude,… dancing with Guy. She was wearing that same dress she'd worn last night, the one he still felt should have been illegal. In fact, her hair was the same as last night…

He snatched the tabloid up, hurriedly paid the teenager behind the counter and strode briskly to the nearest bench before flipping through the pages to the corresponding article.

There were more pictures. Jude and Guy dancing in a way that while it wasn't dirty dancing, was a little more provocative then 'just friends'; certainly enough to make a boyfriend jealous, or in this case – steaming mad.

---

"Hey you" I smiled at Guy as I walked into G-Major, "I thought you'd be avoiding this place like the plague now your albums finished. Don't say you miss it already?"

"Hardly" He scoffed, "Darius set up an 'In the studio' photo shoot for me. Personally, I think it's a little hypocritical to go behind the scenes of my album _after_ it's completed but hey, he's the boss…"

I laughed and put a hand on his shoulder and gazed into his eyes in a serious manner, "And you really, _really_ don't want to piss off the boss!" Noticing movement behind me I turned to see Tommy entering the building. My hand guiltily slipped from Guy's shoulder, though technically I hadn't been doing anything wrong. I was joking with Guy, not flirting…

Tommy's face was clouded and I instantly felt concern coil around my stomach, "Jude, can I speak to you please?" He said tersely, in a clipped and detached tone, "In _private_."

Before I could even answer he took hold of my arm and led me to one of the empty studios. I had no choice but to wave good-bye to Guy who watched with concern, before the studio door closed behind us and Tommy and I were enclosed in the darkness. Studio D didn't have glass walls and was completely private, and when your boyfriend was mad at you… kind of claustrophobic.

"What's up?" I asked nervously as Tommy slid a hand along the wall in search of the light switch. Studio D was also located in the interior of the building and had no natural light.

He tossed a tabloid on the soundboard in front of me without saying a word. I scanned the cover before finally noticing a small picture of me in the corner.

Me at the club, last night… with guy.

I bit my lip, instantly feeling guilty. I'd drunk a little after Shelly's revelation and had gotten a little carried away. I'd flirted with Guy shameless, sent a bunch of mixed signals and probably made rather a fool of myself.

But then I'd done all of that because Tommy had been out with Veronica. Tommy had cheated on me.

Wait, had he actually cheated on me? Did I know that? Or had I completely assumed and behaved like a seventeen-year-old child? Oh drat…

"You read tabloids Quincy?" I asked with a lighthearted smile that hid my nervousness.

"When you're in them" He nodded simply, his eyes cool.

"Well," I pushed the tabloid away from me, "They say you really can't believe everything you read in those…"

"What about what you see?" He responded.

I felt anger bubbling up inside of me. My eyes flashed as I spun to face him, "It's funny really, how tabloids always exclude the juiciest story." I traced a box in the air then made writing motions inside it with my finger, "Tom Quincy out with mystery blonde! Tom Quincy lies to girlfriend!, Tom Quincy. Hypocrite much?" I continued to write on my imaginary piece of paper but Tommy grabbed my hand and pushed it down to my side. My fingers balled into a fist but he simply held his fingers over mine without letting go. For fear I'd punch him?

"What on earth are you talking about?" He seemed sincerely lost.

"You left the studio yesterday and went out with Veronica! I heard about it through from some gossip that my boyfriend is cheating on me. Only he doesn't want to _openly_ be my boyfriend so I had to act as if nothing was wrong. As if you hadn't lied to me"

I shook his head and glanced away momentarily before fixing his gaze on me, "I never lied to you" He said through gritted teeth.

"No" I shook my head then wrenched my hand from his, "You never said _anything_"

Our faces where mere inches apart, and had we not been fighting I would have taken the perfect opportunity and kissed him. Instead I placed both hands firmly on his chest and pushed him. He caught my hands in his and held them in front of me.

"When did this become about me?" He asked.

"Yesterday at 10am when you followed Veronica from this building and went out with her behind my back" I spat.

He stared at my incredulously "You paranoid little…"

I gaped at him, "Little what?"

He didn't answer.

"Little _what_, Tommy? Little brat?" I stared up at him but he looked away, slowly letting go of my hands.

Shoving past him I stormed from the studio.

---

Jude slammed the studio door behind her and strode through the crowded G-Major. Moments later Tommy strode out of the studio, it seemed for a moment as if he were going to follow her but instead he spun around, putting both hands to his head and swore under his breath.

"What am I doing?" he muttered to himself under his breath.

---

I left G-Major as quickly as I possibly could finding the solitary confines of my car a welcome respite. I slid behind the wheel and leaned back, staring through the windshield at the brick walls of G-Major. This building had once held so much hope and excitement for me. I used to look at it and see a future of glamour, fame and happiness.

Now the walls seemed old and tired, just like me.

I drove around town for fifteen minutes, not sure what I was looking for. Finally I pulled up outside the town pool. Moments later I dove beneath the waters icy surface. The coldness hit me like a brick, then enclosed my body so tightly I felt as if I couldn't breath. It was strangely comforting. I opened my eyes and glanced around, taking in the murky aqua and the dim sunlight filtering through to play patterns along the pools concrete floor.

I swam to the surface, gasping for air.

What had just happened? I couldn't decide if I'd been wrong, or Tommy. The lines had gotten so blurred and as I replayed the argument in my head I felt an overwhelming urge to cry.

Was he really about to call me a brat? Did he really see me that way? Did he look down at me because of my age? Where we doomed to run in circles, never standing on equal footing?


	10. Chapter 9: Not even your car!

**Chapter 9: "Not even your car!" **

Kwest was eyeing the steaming mug of coffee in front of him when Tommy entered the break room. Kwest couldn't help but notice the tension that followed him, as if his friend were walking around with a thundercloud full of lightning bolts hanging over his head.

"I'm such a screw up" Tommy muttered as he fell into a seat across the table.

Kwest raised an eyebrow, "You wanna talk about it man?"

Tommy stared at the tables worn surface, "Its Jude" He said, "We just had this massive blow up and I don't know what to do"

"Apologizing is generally a good place to start"

Tommy glared at him, "You're assuming I'm in the wrong?"

"Just going by past experience… yeah" Kwest said calmly, as he sipped his coffee.

Tommy sighed, "I don't know if I can be with her, man. I don't know if I love her"

Kwest nearly spat out his coffee as he gaped at Tommy, "You've got to be kidding me! I couldn't name one thing you love more then Jude. Not even your car!"

Tommy smiled sadly, "You're right. I do, I do love her. But I don't know if I love her enough, if I love her like that, if I love her the way I'm supposed to. It's like, after all these years of telling myself I couldn't be with her, that it was wrong; I've started to believe it. Whenever I kiss her I feel guilty… I seem physically incapable of touching her. It's messed up" He pounded a fist against the table, causing Kwest's coffee to slosh over the sides of its mug.

Kwest stood up and grabbed a cloth from the sink to wipe up the spilled coffee, not saying anything, simply listening.

"It never used to bug me, you know?" Tommy continued, "Those seven years. She gets me better then anyone and I know her, I understand her more then I've ever understood any girl, more then I ever thought was possible. But just lately it's like those years have become this massive wall between the two of us. I see them whenever we're together. I start picking apart everything she does, telling myself our relationship can't work that she's too young for this."

"You're sabotaging yourself, Tom. You always do this!" Kwest chided, "Whenever something good comes into your life; it's almost as if you unconsciously feel you don't deserve it. You pick it apart until you find something wrong with it. Jude's a mother! She has a daughter, which you adore. She's older then her years, she's certainly older then any other girl her age. Half the time she's more mature then you! You want this relationship with Jude. You can make it work!"

---

"One" I counted, "Two, three, four!"

Cassie and I were walking to the park and Cassie had discovered a new love; jumping over the cracks in the concrete, the cracks that were every few feet. It made a normally slow walk even slower. To keep myself entertained I'd taken to counting the steps and cheering each time Cassie reached five. I noticed her mouthing the numbers with me as I said them and smiled to myself. I was teaching my daughter how to count.

I noticed Tommy's viper sidling up the street alongside us as we reached the entrance to the park, "Do you wanna go play on the swings?" I asked Cassie as I knelt down beside her.

She nodded happily and bounded into the park.

I turned and watched as Tommy climbed out of his car, shielding my eyes from the sun with one hand.

"I take it you're not coming back into work today" He said, as he neared me. His expression was tentative, gentle and borderline pleading.

I shrugged and glanced over my shoulder to check on Cassie.

"Look, Jude, I need to talk to you"

"After days of avoiding it," I observed, "Funny."

"That's not true. I tried to talk to you last night but you were too busy getting ready for your date with Guy."

I glared at him then glanced around for Cassie. She'd tired of the slide and was heading for the swings. I began walking across the park toward her, Tommy followed.

I was being too hard on him. I knew it but I was still angry, still not ready to speak with him and make nice. I had too many doubts about him, about myself swirling around in my mind. I needed time to sort it all out.

"I can't really talk Tommy. I'm here with Cassie. I don't have time to be your little brat" I regretted the words as soon as I said them.

"Funny" Tommy responded, anger creeping into his voice, "Because you're being her right now. I guess you're a natural multi-tasker!"

I was nearing the swings where Cassie was waiting for me. Rolling my eyes at Tommy and myself I chose not to answer, "Need me to push you?" I asked Cassie. She nodded gleefully. I picked her up and positioned her in the pre-schooler swing, fastened the chain and made sure she was secure. The sound of Tommy's viper roaring away echoed throughout the playground.

---

"Is it just me or are Jude and Tommy fighting?" Sadie asked Kwest as the two of them left G-Major. Kwest was walking Sadie home, a habit they'd developed recently, both enjoying the exercise and each others company.

Kwest frowned, "They had a fight this morning. She left"

"And he didn't follow." She glanced over at him, "Did he talk to you about it?"

Kwest sighed, "Sadie, you know I can't tell you what he said."

She raised her hands in a surrendering motion, "I know, I know. But did he?"

He nodded.

She bit her lip, "Is it bad?"

"It could be"

Determining to change the subject, Sadie asked another question that had sparked her curiosity, "So do you know anything about this Veronica chick who's been hanging around G-Major lately?"

"I do, actually. We grew up together." Kwest responded as he put an arm around Sadie's shoulder.

Sadie's eyes widened, "Seriously?"

He nodded, "We weren't friends. We never stayed in touch. I was pretty surprised to see her. She's pretty high up in the music industry these days, from what I've heard. Last time I saw her was…" He frowned as he traced back, "About seven years ago; back in Boyz Attack's heyday. Back when she and Tommy were dating."


	11. Chapter 10: We don't talk anymore

**Chapter 10: We don't talk anymore**

Sadie and I were preparing dinner in the kitchen and Cassie was running around like a mad munchkin. She'd weave in around our legs, pushing a toy car, and then madly race out into the hallway and living room.

"Don't put that on the bench" I called as she began wheeling the car around the potatoes waiting to be peeled, "It's dirty"

She shrugged and returned to the floor.

"So, are you and Tommy talking yet?" Sadie asked. She was trying to act casual but a lifetime of being sisters had taught me to see through that act.

"Not really" I said simply as I began slicing up a pumpkin.

"Oh" She was silent for awhile, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really"

"You sure about that?" She glanced at me skeptically.

"I don't know what to say Sadie. I was an idiot, he was a jerk and now I don't know how to fix it or if I can fix it"

"I don't understand why you always give up so easily"

I dropped the pumpkin on the chopping board with a loud crash, "I do not!" I protested, placing one hand on my hip.

"Is it because of Veronica?"

I frowned, "Yeah"

"Just because they dated doesn't necessarily mean-"

"Hold up! They dated?" My eyes widened and I stared at her questioningly.

Her eyes widened as she backed away, "You weren't fighting cause you found out they dated, where you?"

"Well at this point the answer to that question would be 'Duh', wouldn't it? What do you know about their relationship?"

She shrugged, "Only that it was back when Boyz Attack where really big, about seven years ago and that she and Kwest grew up together but weren't friends"

"Well this is a charming development" I muttered as I returned to the pumpkin. I stabbed the knife into the vegetable and cut it open with a newfound vigor, "Could you do me a favor? Find out as much as you can from Kwest"

"And what exactly do you plan on doing with the information?"

"I'm not sure yet" I responded as I scooped up the slices of pumpkin and placed them in the boiling pot of water on the stove.

---

Tommy wasn't at G-Major when I arrived for work the next day. I breathed a sigh of relief for a split second then was overtaken with curiosity, er, paranoia regarding where he was.

Was he avoiding me?

"Hi Kwest" I said as I entered the hospitality room.

He glanced up from his coffee, "Hey Jude"

"I was thinking of mixing a new track today. Tommy isn't here. Could you help me?"

He nodded, "I'll be there in a second"

He was uncomfortable, I could tell. Kwest had never been a good liar. Did he knew where Tommy was? Did he know why?

I left the hospitality room and wandered aimlessly around G-Major while I waited for an artist to finish up in the studio. I waved at Sadie behind the reception desk then flopped down on one of the cushiony sofas. I hadn't been sleeping the last couple of days, what with this math test I'm most certainly going to fail next week, a song I can't seem to finish after working on it for weeks and, of course, everything with Tommy. As I sat there I felt the urge to lean back, close my eyes and give in to slumber.

"Kwest" Darius voice barked from the doorway of his office. I glanced over my shoulder to see Kwest running over to him. Great, getting into the studio and working on that song was going to be delayed even more.

"Do you have that song yet?" Darius asked. I didn't intend to eavesdrop but his voice carried across the room.

"Sorry man. We're having a little difficulty with the last bridge. SME are working on it now in Studio A"

I glanced behind me again to see Darius shaking his head angrily, "It better be done by tomorrow. I need it for a presentation to a possible tour backer" He paused "And tell Tommy I need to speak with him when he and Veronica get back from the resort. When is he due back again?"

"Friday" Kwest responded, "But sir-"

"That's all" Darius interrupted as he closed the door in his face.

Kwest glanced over to see me gaping at him. I quickly turned away. I sat on the sofa as the noise and hustle of G-Major seemed to melt away. Chewing on my bottom lip and frowning profusely I found myself fighting back tears.

Tommy was away at some luxury resort with Veronica. They were probably having a wonderfully romantic time, not having to worry about picking up preschoolers from preschool and getting home in time for the baby-sitters bedtime.

I am so pathetic.

---

Kwest and I didn't discuss what I'd overheard. He obviously wanted to avoid the drama and I didn't have the heart to ask questions and potentially get my heart broken anymore.

The song came along well; at least there was one bonus. Perhaps it was fueled by my emotions but the passion was finally there. The lyrics and notes flew together like poetry.

Driving home in my Mustang I watched as the scenery flew past the window, blurring into indistinguishable shapes in the little drizzle that was falling. The edges weren't distinguishable outside and as I thought about it they were indistinguishable in my life.

I was entirely uncertain where I stood in my relationship with Tommy. Had we broken up? Where we taking time out? Where we never going to speak to each other again?

I was uncertain about school – perhaps I was fooling myself to believe I could graduate on time.

I was uncertain about my upcoming birthday. 18 was such a big and scary number. Strange to think a week or so ago I couldn't wait for the big day and for everything 18 means. Now I'm uncertain if I can truly handle being a certified adult. Look at how I'd handled myself recently, jumping to conclusions and jeopardizing the second most important relationship in my life. Are you supposed to be so messed up at such a young age? Shouldn't you have at least figured out the life you've lived to date before undertaking a whole new and scary one?

At least one thing in my life I was certain about; the most important relationship in my life. Cassie.


	12. Chapter 11: Let the party begin!

**Chapter 11: Let the party begin! **

It was today. Today was the day I'd never forget, never could forget if I tried. The last two years it had haunted me and I'd gone through the day in a haze, not sleeping that night for fears and questions about my baby girl.

Three years ago I gave birth to Cassie in some hospital a hundred miles from my home. I placed her in the arms of virtual strangers then tried to pretend the event had never happened.

But it had happened and I never could forget. I'd always thought I'd go through my life as some sort of Zombie, that this day, of this month would be the worst of the year.

With all that had happened with Tommy and being so stressed out at work I'd almost not noticed the event sneaking up on me but as I got out of bed that morning I determined to push all of the bad thoughts out my life. I'd forget about Tommy, work and school and focus on – for the first time in my life – celebrating my daughter's birthday. For the first time in _my_ life it wasn't going to be a day of pain and regret.

---

"What does the birthday girl want for breakfast?" I asked Cassie as I carried her into the kitchen. She was still kind of sleepy as she sat on my hip and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Ice cweam?" She asked softly. Ice cream was her daily breakfast request but it always got turned down. Though the question became more and more tentative with time, she had yet to stop asking.

"Ice cweam it is" I mimicked her pronunciation and scrunched my face up as I smiled at her. She giggled and lifted her face up to mine, I lowered mine and we rubbed noses.

"Auntie Sadie!" I called a moment later, as I sat Cassie down on the bench and got a bowl and spoon from the cupboard, "Stop sleeping and come celebrate with us"

A few minutes later Sadie entered the room wearing a raggedy old robe, her hair a disheveled mess from sleep. I handed her a bowl of Ice Cream and she smiled sweetly. "Hi birthday girl" She waved at Cassie, "Do you know how old you are today?"

Cassie nodded but didn't answer.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Sadie turned to me, stirring her ice cream absentmindedly.

"I was thinking of a picnic up by the river, a trip to the park and maybe a shopping spree for presents. Then we could come back and hire some kids DVDs for the grand finale. What do you think?"

"Sounds like the three-year-old dream birthday to me" She laughed.

The doorbell rang and two of us glanced at each other; eyes wide.

"I'm not dressed. You go" Sadie said as she frantically ran a hand through her hair, attempting to comb out the knots and flatten the frizz.

"I'm not dressed either!" I was panicking it would be Tommy at the door. I wasn't ready to face him.

"You always look like that" She said with a cheeky grin.

"Why you-" I started but she spun me around and pushed me toward the door.

There was no fighting it. I paused in front of the hallway mirror and combed a hand through my hair. I was grateful I hadn't worn any make-up the night before and didn't have any smudged mascara and eyeliner around my eyes. I didn't look too bad, I guess, just a little sleepy.

I opened the door and sighed with relief, "It's only you"

"Well thanks Harrison" Spied smirked at me then waved a hand behind him, "We knew it was you and Sadie's day off and what do you know? It's ours too! So the guys and I thought we'd come and bug you since we hardly see each other these days. We ran into Kwest too and he decided to tag along"

I smiled to myself, both at the thought of grown-up and serious Kwest hanging out with SME and at the idea that was brewing in my mind regarding my evil big sister and the boyfriend she still had believing she woke up looking that gorgeous.

"Hi Kwest" I said, giving him a hug when he reached me, "Sadie's in the kitchen. Go surprise her!"

Kwest obediently departed and I turned to the SME guys, "I'm so glad you're here. You're going to come in handy!"

There was a high pitched squeal from the kitchen followed by Kwest's concerned voice asking what was wrong. I heard footsteps on the stairs and Cassie giggling. "Ok, I'll just… wait down here, I guess… take your time." Kwest called out.

Wally and Kyle none too subtly began to back up at my remark about their handiness. Spied turned and glared at them then glanced at me warily, "_Should_ we be worried?"

I smiled and shook my head, "Course not. It's just Cassie's birthday and a bigger group of people always a real party makes. Plus Cassie needs more people here who can act her age and you guys are totally mentally three-years-old.

Spied frowned, "Last week you were telling us we were 'such twelve-year-old jackasses'" he mimicked my voice and twirled an imaginary strand of long hair.

I whacked him on the arm then ushered the guys inside. "Let the party begin!"

---

Sadie and Kwest were sitting together on a checkered picnic blanket, under a drooping old willow tree and watching as Jude, Wally, Kyle and Spied taught Cassie how to play Football.

Cassie had the ball though she wasn't so much holding it in her hands as in her entire arms. It was an impressive feat for her to hold it all considering it was almost as big as she was. She giggled gleefully and ran across the park, her short but sturdy feet keeping a slow pace. Spied ran after her with exaggerated slow-motion type steps before swooping in behind her, wrapping two arms around her waist then scooping her high into the air. She squealed with delight and threw the football as hard as she could. It fell a few feet in front of her where Wally quickly scooped it up and threw it to Kyle.

Kwest chuckled to himself then lay back on the blanket, his hands behind his head.

"What are you thinking about?" Sadie asked as she looked down at him.

"That this must be heaven cause you look like such an angel right now" He responded as he lifted a hand brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

Sadie smiled, "Keep thinking that thought. For, like, the rest of your life."

"Oh, just you try to make me stop," He moved his hand to the back of her head and gently pulled her down to kiss him.

"Eww gross!" Spied called, he now had Cassie on her shoulders and she scrunched her face up and echoed him "Gwoss!" She cried.

"No PDA in front of the innocent young child!" Spied continued, quickly covering Cassie's eyes with his hand. She giggled and pushed the hand away with both of hers.

Jude walked over and Spied handed her Cassie. Swinging her around in the air Jude glanced over at Wally and Kyle who'd forgotten their football match was a non competitive three-year-olds game and were now wrestling on the ground in an attempt to win the ball, "I say it's time to hit the mall," She declared, "If our two sets of lovebirds can bear to tear themselves away from one another."

At even the hint of gayness Wally and Kyle pulled away from other so quickly you could have sworn one of them had just caught on fire.

"Well that was easy," Spied remarked.

Smiling Jude glanced from him to Sadie and Kwest - who were still softly kissing on the blanket - then back, "They might be a little harder to separate" She responded ruefully.

---

Cassie clung to my hand, her eyes wide as our group walked through the hustle and bustle of the local mall.

"You'd think she'd never been to a mall before" Sadie observed.

"Maybe they don't have malls in Montana?" Wally suggested.

Kyle whacked him and rolled his eyes, "Of course they have malls! You doofus!"

"I'm not a doofus!" Wally responded angrily.

"You're both doofuses" Spied interjected. He was rewarded with a glare from both boys for his efforts.

"So what do you want for your birthday?" I knelt down in front of Cassie.

Cassie's eyes widened even more, "Anyfing?" She asked.

I nodded.

Cassie dragged me to a store display for a new pop star doll. The doll had changeable hair that had originally been red but changed to blonde when it was wet. A few other similarities had had Darius threatening to sue the doll manufacturer for basing the doll on me without paying for royalties but the drama had blown over without anything really coming from it.

"You want that?" I asked incredulously.

Cassie nodded and Sadie snickered.

"What?" I asked, "It's a compliment... I think."

The doll was purchased as was a number of other toy trinkets that caught Cassie's fancy. She was an abnormally well behaved child. It seemed the doll had been all she dreamt of and she refused to ask for anything else. We couldn't help but noticed the way her expression changed, however, when she spotted an adorable plush soft toy, or a book about a little girl who likes to sing. By the time we left the store each person had brought her a gift. Even Wally, Spied and Kyle, who before today had barely been introduced to Cassie, but had quickly taken a fond liking to her had purchased gifts.

The SME boys have always been like my brothers; I guess now they would be like Cassie's Uncle's. That's the strange thing about families. You can have blood family and you can have love family. With the exception of Sadie my blood family had turned out pretty disastrously but as we sat in the food court and demolished McDonalds Happy Meals (Even us 'grown-ups' and in mine and SME's case 'almost grown-ups') and I glanced around the table I couldn't help but feel grateful for the family I had with me now. Maybe that statement 'You can choose your friends but not your family' isn't true. Maybe, when you need it, your friends _can_ be your family.


	13. Chapter 12: Run ins and Runaways

**Chapter 12: Run ins and Runaways**

Kwest and Sadie had gone ahead to get the car and the boys, Cassie and I were filling in time in front of the mall. Kyle and Wally were unsuccessfully hitting on a group of girls who only had eyes for Spied. What is it with girls and that whole 'I'm the lead singer of my band' fascination?

Spied really is a great guy though. He was ignoring the admiring and gorgeous brunettes and playing hide and seek with Cassie. It wasn't much of a hiding seek considering the lack of hiding places. Cassie hid behind my legs, behind a rubbish bin and behind a one-inch thick tree but Spied put on a pretty convincing act, insisting he couldn't find her and admitting defeat.

"Jude? Is that you?" A familiar voice asked. I whirled around to find Guy climbing out of a taxi. He was wearing a dark pair of glasses and a baseball cap in an attempt to disguise himself. He was getting recognized constantly these days.

"Hey you" I smiled, "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, "I had a day off and didn't really know what to do with myself so I thought I'd play mall rat for a day"

I smiled, "Well we're having a party." I glanced around me, in search of my entourage, "It's Cassie's third birthday" I thought for a moment, "We were just heading back to the house to watch some DVDs. They'll be kid ones but hey, modern day animated movies are just as much for big kids as little ones… if you wanted to join us?"

He nodded, "Sure. That sounds like fun."

---

Back at Sadie's and my apartment the DVD session was well underway. Cassie was enthralled in the antics of the little squirrel in _Over the Hedge_ and the SME boys were laughing uproariously with every fart joke or other occurrence that appealed to their teenage boy humor. Kwest and Sadie were oblivious to the film – rather they spent the time watching each other, their fingers intertwined as they whispered sweet nothings to one another.

The doorbell rang and I carefully lifted Cassie off my lap and lowered her down onto the sofa next to Spied. I'd been in such a laid back party mode that I didn't even think to worry that it was Tommy. So when I opened the door and found him standing there – looking as confident and sexy as ever, I was actually speechless - momentarily of course.

"What are you doing here?" I stuttered.

He sighed, "I was away on-" He paused for a slip second "Business then remembered that it was Cassie's birthday today so I rushed back" He must have noticed the noise because he asked, "Are you having a party?"

I was still kind of stunned by his sudden appearance and the fact that he was acting as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just spent the weekend away on some romantic tryst with a gorgeous blonde – all behind my back. "Yeah" I answered stupidly.

At that point Guy appeared in the foyer, "Cassie asked for some juice. Is the kitchen through there?" He asked, pointing in the direction of the laundry.

I shook my head and pointed him in the right direction.

Tommy watched him depart then turned to me, "You invited Guy?"

Feeling some of the righteous indignation creeping back into my blood, I also found my attitude returning. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged in a 'Duh!' fashion.

His eyes darkened but he didn't say another word. Instead he brushed past me and strode into the lounge. I watched from the door as Cassie did a double take, leapt up onto the sofa then catapulted her self into the air, and into Tommy's arms.

"Hey birthday girl" He said softly.

A week ago I would have felt myself going all gooey inside. My daughter adoring the man I adored. Now it just made me feel nauseous. I turned and walked away, not remembering Guy was in the kitchen until I entered the room.

"Is this the right kind?" He asked, holding up a bottle of juice.

I nodded absentmindedly.

"I'm not that familiar with kids" He continued "So I wasn't sure if there was some special kid juice or something"

"Kids are pretty easy when it comes to stuff like that"

"Fair enough" He observed, "Considering the diapers and sleepless nights"

"Exactly" I smiled.

He paused, watching me, "You should smile more often. You have such a really beautiful smile"

Our eyes met.

Behind me someone cleared their throat and I tore my eyes from Guy's to find Tommy standing there, Cassie sitting on his shoulders. His eyes were even darker now as he took in the scene in front of him and there was a grim set to his jaw, "Cassie wanted her juice" He explained as he swung her down from his shoulders and set her on the floor.

Guy knelt down in of Cassie and offered her the juice. She took it from him. To her Guy was a stranger and she watched him with an air of caution; not offering a smile. I glanced from her to Tommy – their expressions were virtually identical.

---

You know the scariest thing about being mad at someone and having them mad at you? It's wondering if they still love you, wondering if they'll ever stop being mad and how they'll feel about you when they do.

I always find it so hard to imagine someone loving me. Looking at myself I can't see what anyone would love. Sure, I have family who I know love me but that's by default. I have friend's who love me but that's a different kind of love. I don't see why anyone would be _in love_ with me. What's to love? Certainly there are people out there who're better looking then me, more talented, funnier, more engaging…

I thought for awhile that Tommy loved me, that he was _in love_ with me but then I started to wonder. Now he's angry with me, just like I am with him and whenever I look at him all I see is this anger in his eyes as well as disappointment and frustration (I guess maybe frustration could be a hopeful sign. He must care to get frustrated). But I can't find that subtle expression I first noticed a few days before my sixteenth birthday; the look that told me he cared about me – a lot.

---

I'm moping. I'll admit it. As far as I know the party is still going on downstairs. Cassie was so enthralled in Ice Age 2 that she didn't even notice when I slipped from the room. I was getting sick of the looks Tommy was tossing at me; his jaw clenched and his eyes flashing. Great! You're mad at me! I get it! But what about me? I certainly have a right to be angry and it's not even fun anymore when you're already throwing anger at me and not noticing that I'm trying to dish out the same!

I guess Cassie will be getting tired soon. She's probably fallen asleep by now. I really should go and check on her but that would require getting off my bed on which I'm currently lying on my stomach and eating chocolate. Wallowing can be such a comfort.

Has anyone ever written a song about Chocolate? I really should. For once - a song not about Tommy!

I heard footsteps outside my door and tensed in anticipation of someone knocking, but the footsteps went past. Standing up and brushing chocolate crumbs away, I padded to the door and opened it slightly. Peering through, I watched as Tommy carried a sleeping Cassie down to the end of the hallway. He precariously balanced her with one hand as he opened her bedroom door then disappeared inside.

I quietly tiptoed down the hallway then paused at Cassie's door and watched as Tommy tucked her into her miniature bed. He paused, looking down at her then smiled to himself. He reached over and turned on her bedside lamp, tucked her teddy into the bed next to her then leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

He turned suddenly and I didn't get the chance to move before he saw me. My eyes wide I turned and ran down the hallway.

"Jude! Please wait!" He hissed in a stage whisper.

I felt his hand graze my shoulder as he caught up with me in the hallway but I wrenched away and ran into my room, closing the door behind me. Panting, I leaned against it, staring up at my ceiling and wishing my life was different.

"Jude" Tommy said through the door, "Can't we just talk?".

"I don't feel like fighting right now, Tom" I said quietly.

"So lets not fight. Come on girl, please?"

I didn't answer. Instead I sank to the floor, lay down on my side but surprisingly; I didn't cry.

---

People were dispersing when Tommy went downstairs. He'd waited outside Jude's room for what felt an eternity before finally giving up. He reached the foyer just as Guy was opening the front door. The two eyed each other and nodded a polite but cool greeting. The SME boys had already left and only Kwest and Sadie were left in the living room.

Tommy sighed as he sat down across from them.

"How'd it go?" Kwest asked.

Tommy shook his head, "Not good"

Removing Kwest's arm from around her shoulder, Sadie stood up, "I'll leave you guys to talk" She smiled at Kwest but didn't offer the same for Jude. She wasn't sure which side she was supposed to be on at this point but considering her past with Tommy she leant toward Jude.

When Sadie had left Tommy leaned forward, "I have an idea but I need your help" He said earnestly.

---

Sadie was brewing a coffee when she heard Tommy's car pull away. She smiled as Kwest walked up behind her and wrapped his arms round her waist.

"I was just making coffee" She said, "You want one?"

"That would be great" He responded, "I need to talk to you about something. It's about Tommy and Jude. And I need your help"


	14. Chapter 13: The Names Bond, Sadie Bond

**Chapter 13: The names Bond, Sadie Bond**

Imagining herself a sexy and heroic Bond girl, Sadie peered around the corner and watched as Jude left her bedroom and entered the bathroom for her morning shower. Fighting the urge to hum the James Bond theme song to herself, Sadie tiptoed down the hall and to Jude's bedroom door. She glanced one last time at the bathroom door before entering Jude's room and softly closing the door behind her.

She could hear Jude singing in the shower; some song Sadie had never heard before about Chocolate and wallowing. She smiled to herself and rolled her eyes before glancing around her. 'Wow' she thought, 'Jude is such a slob'. Clothes were strewn on the floor and dressers and the bed was an unmade mess, though Sadie realized her bed was no better. She simply hadn't had time to make it this morning. Not with the limited timeframe she had.

'Where to start?' she thought to herself as she glanced around her. She couldn't help but wonder if she was doing the right thing, taking part in Tommy's plan. She was going behind Jude's back and should events not go as hoped, she would certainly deserve Jude's anger.

She heard a metallic click as someone began to open the bedroom door. She whirled around, one of Jude's bras in one hand and a pair of jeans in the other. Now how would she explain this situation? 'I just decided to do your laundry for you, since its take pity on your sister day and because I'm certain there's another life form about to grow from the dust in here.' Yeah, that would go down well!

The door opened completely and Sadie looked down to see Cassie standing there in her footed pajamas, a Teddy bear dangling from one hand and the other rubbing her eyes sleepily.

Sighing in relief Sadie put a finger to her lips in a 'sshhh' motion then closed the door. She picked Cassie up and placed her on the bed. "We're planning a surprise for Mommy so you must be very quiet ok?"

---

Half an hour later a grumpy Jude sat at the kitchen table and stared blankly at her cereal. She was hung over but not on alcohol – on sugar.

"Morning Jude" Sadie smiled as she walked into the room and grabbed an apple, "Isn't it a lovely day today?"

Crossing her index fingers, Jude held them in front of her face while looking away, "Down with energy and pep! Depart oh evil blonde one!"

"Jude" Sadie smiled, though there was a hint of annoyance, "You're blonde too."

"Not naturally" Jude muttered to herself as she stirred her spoon in her cereal.

The doorbell rang and she watched as Sadie sashayed toward it. She frowned; Sadie looked absolutely gorgeous with full make-up, styled hair and a great outfit. Since when did she look this perfect this early in the morning?

"Hey Honey" Sadie said as she hugged Kwest before leading him inside. She whispered into his hair "Everything's set" Then leaning back she said at normal volume, "I'm channeling my Inner Bond girl today"

Kwest smiled mischievously, "Now that is something I'd like to see."

Sadie laughed then winked at him flirtatiously.

"Is that why you look so perfect right now?" Jude asked with a frown, "I'd have sworn you knew Kwest was coming over this morning"

Sadie paled slightly but Kwest quickly spoke up, "Are you feeling ok, Jude? You look a little tired"

She glared at him, "I'm fine"

Sadie glanced at her watch then excused herself and ran upstairs. She retrieved the suitcase she'd packed that morning from where she'd hidden it under Jude's bed then slipped downstairs, peering around the corner she made sure Kwest was distracting Jude then bolted across the foyer and out the front door. She reached the street and turned left then raced down the footpath.

Right on schedule Tommy's car was parked in a neighbor's driveway. He was leaning on the bonnet, wearing a dark pair of sunglasses. Though she would never have admitted it, Sadie found herself thinking just how much he looked like James Bond in that moment.

He took off his sunglasses and smiled nervously as she reached him, "Everything set?" He asked.

She nodded and handed him the suitcase, "I swear, Tom. If you mess this up and break Jude's heart I will rip yours out"

"Aye Aye Sadie" He pretended to salute, "Threat noted. And yes, I'm very scared" He rolled his eyes and smiled good-naturedly.

She grinned and punched him lightly on the arm, "Today the names Bond, Tommy. Sadie Bond. And you'd do well to be scared" She raised an eyebrow, making a serious expression then turned and raced back up the street.

Tommy smiled to himself then opened the back door and deposited Jude's suitcase inside. He glanced at his watch and waited a few minutes before climbing into the car and moving it up the street till he was parked in front of Jude's house. He watched nervously, waiting.

---

"Ok, you two are just acting freaky!" I told Kwest and Sadie as I deposited my mostly uneaten cereal in the trash then placed the bowl in the sink. I'm going upstairs to hang out with the only normal person in this house – Cassie."

"She's not there" Sadie informed me.

I spun around, gaping at her, "What?"

Sadie shrugged, "Mrs. Jones is looking after her for the morning. Kwest and I decided you needed a day off so we've got a surprise for you"

I glanced between the two of them skeptically, "What kind of surprise?"

"The kind that ceases to be a surprise when you reveal any detail" Kwest remarked. He took a scarf out of his pocket and handed it to Sadie.

"Nuh-uh. Last time I let Sadie blindfold me it went badly. _Really_ badly!" I raised my hands in front of me.

"Oh come on Jude! That was eons ago" Sadie walked over and forcefully wrapped the scarf around my eyes.

I heard the front door open then Sadie took my hand and slowly guided me across the room. She led me outside and I fought the urge to scream and run. I heard a car door open.

"Ok, you're getting into a car now" Sadie said and after a few awkward attempts at locating said car then successfully getting into it, I found myself seated.

"Guys, I really don't like this"

I felt someone lean over me and do up my seatbelt.

"It's fine," Sadie remarked, "Seriously, let someone do something nice for your for a change! Now wait a couple of minutes before taking the scarf off. Okay?"

I heard the car door close.

"Sadie?" I called.

No response.

Now I was really starting to panic.

The car engine roared to life and I leaned back in my chair. I really wanted to take the blindfold off but then I felt bad. If this really was some great surprise Sadie had organized for me it would be pretty low to go and spoil it all over stupid trust issues relating to a childhood of torture at her hands.

I slowly counted to a hundred then reached up and took the blindfold off.

I was in a car, on the motorway and sitting next to me in the driver's seat was…

"Tommy?"

Oh purple polka dotted dinosaurs!

"What the hell is going on?" I yelled.


	15. Chapter 14: The first rule of Drivers Ed

**Chapter 14: First lesson in drivers Ed**

"First lesson in drivers Ed: Do not yell at the driver while the car is in motion" Tommy said tersely.

"So take the car out of motion" I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him.

"Can't do that" He responded.

"Why not?"

"Because if I did, you'd run away"

"I would not"

"Yeah, you would"

I glared at him but knew I couldn't really argue, "Does the first lesson of Drivers Ed apply when the person doing the yelling has just been kidnapped?" My voice rose in volume again.

"You weren't kidnapped. You got in the car willingly" He was so calm as he indicated then changed lanes, his eyes never leaving the road; a fact which made glaring at him rather pointless.

"Under false pretenses!" I shot back.

"Actually, not really; you were told it was a surprise and you can't deny you were surprised"

"I was also told it was a nice surprise" I muttered to myself.

He glanced over at me and winked, almost suggestively, "It could be _quite_ pleasant."

I opened my mouth to respond then closed it, opened it again and tried to come up with an intelligent and non-flustered response, "How dare you flirt with me? After what you've done?"

He sighed, "What have I done, Jude? I'm finding it hard to keep track of all the things my non-perfect self has done to offend you!"

"Well _this_ would top the list!" I spat, "And tell me; how was your resort stay this weekend? As romantic as necessary? You really must give me the name of the resort. I could find some _male_ bimbo to take there. Victor maybe or Vince! Maybe a Vern or Vinny? Anything beginning with V, really. _Or_ Is Veronica both a male and female name? Like Taylor? Maybe I could find my own Veronica to while and Woo?"

He gaped at me, "How did you ever know about- No, I don't even want to know. You honestly think I'm cheating on you? With _Veronica_ of all people?

I shrugged, "Why not? A gorgeous ex turns up just when you're starting to cool on your new, childish girlfriend. You know, the one with the annoying little brat tagging along?"

He swerved over to the side of the road so suddenly I had to brace myself to keep from crashing into the car door. Turning of the engine he turned to me and angrily remarked, "Don't _ever_ call Cassie a brat! And how could you possibly think I feel anything but the greatest amount of love for her?" He threw his hands up into the air, "Honestly Jude!"

"Don't change the subject" I responded coolly.

"I am not, nor ever will be, having an affair with Veronica. She's a conniving, controlling and an artistically bankrupt woman. I think you'd know my taste in woman a little better. I prefer them with souls."

"So why go to the resort with her?"

"It was a business trip. She wanted to take me away from the distractions of G-Major to negotiate my working at a studio she runs in New York City. We stayed in separate rooms and discussed nothing but business. Though, I do recall at one point going into great detail as to just how wonderful I thought you were"

I lowered my eyes, "Oh"

I think we were both a little exhausted after our argument. We sat there in silence for a few moments. Then Tommy silently started the engine, indicated then pulled back into the traffic. We drove for half an hour in complete silence before pulling into a roadside diner and petrol station.

While Tommy filled the car with gas I strode inside. I was still shocked, still angry. So Tommy wasn't cheating on me… I believed him. But why hadn't he told me? Why did he lie about seeing Veronica that day I went to the club with Guy?

I noticed a payphone and strode toward it resolutely, fishing in my pocket for a coin. I hadn't had time to collect my purse and I certainly didn't have my cell phone with me.

I dropped the coin in the slot and dialed my home phone number. Sadie answered.

"Hello?"

I didn't say anything.

"Hello?"

Finally I opened my mouth, "I swear, I am going to _kill_ you" My tone was serious and threatening but I found a smile playing on my lips.

"Look, Jude. Please don't get mad. Give it time I think you-"

The phone was snatched from my hands then placed back in the cradle. I turned to find Tommy standing beside me.

"No contact with the outside world" He said firmly.

I nearly retorted with 'You're not the boss of me' then changed my approach, "Says what authority?"

He raised an eyebrow tentatively, "Me?"

I felt the anger boiling again.

"Look; Veronica's invited me to go and check out the studio, she even has an apartment chosen for me. I thought it would be good to go see it all before making my final decision. That's where we're going now?"

I raised my eyes to his, once again, "To New York City?"

He nodded.

"What if I don't want to go to New York City?"

He shrugged, "I can't force you but I'm sure I'm not the only one who currently thinks our relationships in serious danger. I think we need to take the time to find each other again, work out what we feel, what our future is – and if there is one"

He sounded serious and he was right; our relationship was in serious danger.

"Ok" I conceded, "Your method needs serious work and don't dare think you're off the hook but I'll come. There's two of us in this relationship and I'll do my part" I glanced down at the pair of sweatpants and old Mickey Mouse T-shirt I was wearing, "I didn't bring any clothes with me or anything"

He smiled, "When I plan a kidnapping; I plan it well. Sadie packed your things this morning. They're in the car"

Ha, more of those purple polka-dotted dinosaurs. Life's just full of surprises.

---

I yawned sleepily and Tommy smiled at me, "How about we stop for the night at a motel?"

I nodded warily and closed my eyes. Between our fighting and a large number of traffic jams we'd made little progress on our trip. New York City was still some distance away and we didn't expect to arrive at our destination till sometime the next afternoon.

We drove for awhile longer, during which time I mostly dozed. Eventually Tommy pulled in front of a new looking Motel and went inside to arrange rooms. Rooms? A room? Hmmm, new ground for us. We'd never discussed _that_ aspect of our relationship.

I rubbed my eyes and peered into the office, watching as Tommy filled in the form and handed over his credit card. Would he get us separate rooms or just the one? Did he expect us to…

He returned a few minutes later and got back into the car, "We're round the back" He explained.

I nodded nervously. Now I was thinking about motel rooms and bedrooms I couldn't help but think about sex. I frowned as I tried to decide how I felt about that. I loved Tommy but our relationship was on the rocks. I couldn't help but feel that sex would only complicate things at this point. And then what about the future? With the exception of that one mishap I'd always determined to wait for a loving and committed relationship, heck, maybe even marriage! I'd always found the notion of a wedding night so romantic; waiting to share your first time (or as it would have to be in my case and… lets be honest… Tommy's too – a first time with that person) with the person you'd just professed undying love and a lifetime too.

But then beliefs are all great until you're placed in a situation that tests them. Temptation is a strong thing, especially with a guy like Tom Quincy (Sorry, Tom Thomas…)

Did I really want to be the kind of girl who caves on her convictions all because of pressure from a guy or even her own body?

---

In a gentlemanly manner Tommy carried my suitcase for me. I eyed it suspiciously; afraid to know what items of clothing Sadie had packed for me.

We were on the second floor, the stairs were outside and you walked along a covered deck to reach your door. No cramped and windowless hallways for this motel. We passed a few rooms, the lights out since it was late at night, before arriving at our door. Tommy fished the keys out of his pocket, unlocked then motioned for me to go inside.

I was left to assume he'd gotten the one room which must have meant…

I whirled around to face him. He'd put the suitcase down on the floor and was fiddling with the chain and lock on the door. As soon as he finished and turned to face me I reached up and wrapped my arms around him, capturing his lips in mine.

That thing about not wanting to be a girl who caves on her convictions? So quickly a distance memory…

But this situation wasn't pressure from my body, all of me was scared to death. Iit wasn't pressure from Tommy, not yet anyway though I suspected it was what he wanted if he'd gotten us the one room. I couldn't help but wonder – maybe sex was a solution? Maybe I could use that to bring him back to me; to super glue our relationship back together.

He returned my kiss with fervor, his hands tangling in my ear as he took a few steps forward, forcing me a few steps back. We were in the small motel kitchen and I found myself backed up against the cool white metal of the fridge.

I ran my hands down Tommy's back then slipped them under his shirt and ran them back up the smooth, toned skin. He jumped a little at my touch then pulled back from me to stare in my eyes, "Jude?" He asked, confusion coloring his features.

I felt myself blushing despite myself. I smiled and leaned up to kiss the underside of his chin. He gently pushed me away.

"What are you doing?" He asked quietly.

I glanced around us then back him, "This is what you want, isn't it?"

He shook his head then paused, "I'd be lying if I said no but Jude… not like this"

I tried to kiss him again but again he pushed me away, his hands capturing mine and lacing our fingers together.

I sighed in frustration, "Look. You're really sending me mixed signals here. First you get us a room then suddenly you act as if I repulse you!" I disentangled my hands from his but we were standing so close together that he still had me pinned against the fridge.

He frowned, "I didn't get us _a_ room, I got us two rooms. They share a kitchen and a bathroom but there are _two_ bedrooms."

"Ok, I feel stupid..."

His eyes searched mine, "You don't repulse me Jude"

I laughed bitterly, "Right. So why have you been physically pulling away from me ever since we started dating? You hardly ever kiss me, it's like we're in some nineteenth century courtship."

He sighed and lowered his eyes, "It just felt strange"

My body stiffened, "Excuse me?"

His eyes widened as he realized how I'd taken his statement, "No. Not like that! It's just hard trying to keep our relationship a secret and all these years I've been denying to myself and others how I feel about you. For nearly three years I've been holding back whenever I wanted to touch you or kiss you or even hold your hand. Now I can… it's like the old habits are still there and tripping me and messing with my head"

"I feel like I should be insulted…"

He shook his head earnestly, "No, girl, It's not you at all. It's just me messing everything up as usual"

I didn't know to respond so after a moments silence I smiled tentatively then kissed him lightly on the cheek, "Lets just try to get some sleep? Things always look brighter in the morning right?"

He nodded and squeezed my hand in his comfortingly.


	16. Chapter 15: Breaking up is hard to do

**Chapter 15: Breaking up is hard to do**

Tommy lay awake in bed long into the night, his thoughts on Jude. He thought over her recent actions and how they showed just how young she was. He thought over his own still conflicted feelings and wondered about the future.

Maybe he should make a clean cut and call things off between them – before things got any deeper, before they became more attached to one another. Perhaps a little pain now would save on and overwhelming amount of pain if they put off what seemed to be the inevitable. He still wanted to be a part of her life and Cassie's, maybe there was a way they could remain friends?

He closed his eyes tightly and wished the sense of dread in his stomach to go away.

He didn't want to be without Jude but did he want to be with her? Did he really love her enough?

---

Kwest noticed Sadie shoot another longing glance at her cell phone as the two of them sat on a park bench and watched Cassie playing on a slide.

"She's probably not going to call, you know," He pointed out, "She and Tommy need to focus on their relationship and nothing else at the moment."

"I know," She ran a hand through her long blond hair then rested her chin on her hand, "She just sounded really mad the other day and I'm worried…"

"It'll be fine. She and Tommy are meant to be together"

Sadie frowned, "Maybe the timing wasn't the best, you know? She was tossing and turning all night the night before they left and she's always extra cranky when she's short on sleep." She rolled her eyes and smiled, "Trust me; I know"

Kwest smiled as he reached across the table and placed his hand over hers, "You worry too much Sades."

She smiled and stood up, grabbing his hands and pulling him up with her. Still holding his hands she backed toward the playgrounds, "You're right. I should just chill and you know what the best way to chill is?"

He shook his head, "I could think of a few ways actually…" a mild suggestive nature in his tone.

"Don't." She laughed, shaking her head as if she knew what he was thinking, "Today the best way to chill is to be a kid again," She motioned toward the playground, "Care to push me on the swings sweetie?"

"Honey" He said with a mock southern accent, "I thought you'd never ask."

Laughing, the two raced over to the playground. Cassie watched with a smile as her Aunt and 'Uncle Kwest' behaved like happy children. Though she was too young to recognize or name the feeling – she'd never been more proud.

---

I awoke the next morning with a dull ache in my chest. Putting a hand to my forehead as I sat on the edge of the bed, I waited for the pain to dissipate but it didn't. Slowly I stood up, shrugging away any worry and figuring it was just my excessive chocolate consumption of a few nights ago and a constant lack of sleep finally catching up with me.

Tommy was making coffee when I ventured out into the kitchen. Seeing the room again, now lit by daylight, I felt my cheeks burn up with embarrassment at the memory of last night. Sure, the brief make-out session had been pretty great but I could have done without the embarrassing ending.

"Hi," I said quietly as Tommy still hadn't noticed my presence.

He glanced over his shoulder at me, "'Morning. Want a coffee?"

"Sure" I slowly sat down at the table and felt my head begin to throb with the movement.

"You feeling ok?" Tommy asked as he sat down across from me, "You don't look so good."

I glared at him, "Thanks."

"I didn't mean it like that," He said awkwardly.

"I know. I'll go have a shower after this and I'm sure I'll look more up to my normal standard after that." I said it jokingly but he didn't smile, his expression remained the same detached distraction it had been since I entered the room.

I finished my coffee in silence then slipped from the room to have my shower without saying a word. Tommy didn't seem to notice.

Making sure to not move too quickly and cause my head to throb even more, I undressed and slipped under the steaming hot water, letting it run through my hair and over my face. I let out a tension filled sigh and realized I'd been virtually holding my breath since I awoke. Leaning my head against the glass door of the shower and watching as the steam fogged over, I wondered why life and love had to be so complicated.

---

Tommy glanced over at Jude's sleeping form in the car seat next to him. They'd been driving for an hour now and New York was looming on the horizon.

Jude had been quiet since they shared coffee earlier that morning. She'd seemed nervous around him, tentative with her actions. He'd wondered if she could read his mind, if she knew that he intended to end their relationship before the end of this trip. He sighed angrily, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. It was easy in theory but the actual action was proving to be a lot harder. He kept telling himself he needed to pick the right time and place. Maybe when they were in New York and settled at his apartment (the one Veronica had hired which he and Jude would be staying at during their visit) then he could do it. Or he could take her to a nice park and gently break it off then.

That was the only reason he was waiting, the only reason he was putting off the inevitable. The timing had to be right. He didn't want to hurt the young girl sleeping in the car seat next to him. He couldn't bear to do that to someone he cared for so much.

He noticed a sign for a gas station up ahead and indicated to pull over. He braced himself against the chill wind as he stepped out of the car and softly closed the door in an attempt not to wake Jude. It seemed he wasn't the only one who didn't get any sleep the night before.

When he returned from the store a few moments later, having paid for the gas and purchased some potato chips and drinks for the journey, Jude was still asleep. He got settled in the car but turned to watch her before starting the engine. A soft song was playing on the car radio, the sun had just peeped out from behind a cloud and Jude was snuggled up with one hand under her cheek and the other curled to her bosom, guarding her body from the cold.

He reached over and moved a strand of hair that had been lying loose over the car seat so that it was covering her neck, in the hope that it would help cover and warm the exposed skin her V-neck shirt left.

In the glaring light coming in through the windows her hair almost seemed to glow, making her look like an angel – a young angel.

He frowned again as he started the ignition and the engine roared into life. He'd thought she'd looked pale that morning but had figured it to be the cold, now she seemed even more so, her lips were a few shades lighter then normal and her eyes had dark circles around them. She hadn't remarked that she'd been feeling ill or complained about anything.

She'd tell him if something were wrong, he reassured himself as he pulled out into the steady traffic.


	17. Chapter 16: Say Uncle

**Chapter 16: Say Uncle!**

"Let's pull over" I said excitedly as I motioned to a pull over spot up ahead. There were picnic tables surrounded by small pine trees, next to an idyllic stream. Unable to resist my enthusiasm, Tommy nodded and obeyed. I leapt out of my seat and raced ahead of him to the waters edge, "Come on slow poke!" I called over her shoulder. The breeze captured my words and carried them away.

Tommy smiled as he locked the car and slipped the keys into his pocket before picking up his pace and meeting me at the waters edge.

"Isn't the water beautiful?" I asked as I slipped off my sandals and began to roll up the legs of my jeans. The water sparkled in the sunlight and its crystal clear surface revealed the tiny pebbles that dotted the bottom. It was shallow for quite a ways before getting deeper further out.

"It is," Tommy agreed "but not enough to get in!" he eyed me, still not quite believing that was what I planned to do, "Come on Jude, don't you think its a little cold?"

I laughed as I stepped out into the water, "You sound like my mother, 'Don't get wet honey, you'll catch your death of cold,'" I mimicked. Feeling mischievous I quickly scooped a handful of water up and flung it in Tommy's direction. The water hit him square in the chest and he gaped at me. "Oops," I tried to say it seriously but a giggle bubbled up to my lips. I put a hand to my mouth in an attempt to muffle it.

"Oh you are so dead!" Tommy said with a grin. He kicked of his shoes and waded out into the water. Seeing the glimmer in his eyes I turned and raced away with an excited shriek. I soon discovered that though they where picturesque, the pebbles were slippery and didn't aid my escape. I wobbled and shrieked my way over them and in a short moments time I felt Tommy's arm snake around my waist. He reached down and scooped up a handful of water before and tipped it over my head. I yelped as the cool water ran down the back of my head and down my back.

Tommy's arm was still tightly around my waist and my hands reached down to attempt to pull it away, his grip only tightened, "Say Uncle" He whispered into my ear.

Giggling I shook my head, "Never." He reached down again and I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. I succeeded in throwing him slightly off balance and he had to adjust his footing to keep standing. His arm loosened ever so slightly as he did so and I took the opportunity to slip from his grasp and race further up the river bed. I could hear splashes as he raced up behind me and I glanced over my shoulder, cheekily sticking my tongue out at him. In doing so I failed to notice the deep patch directly in front of me, a moment later my foot failed to connect with the riverbed and with a surprised yelp I fell headfirst into the waist deep water.

When I resurfaced, brushing wet strands of hair from my face, Tommy was standing in front of me, hands on his hips and a smirk on his face. "What are you looking at?" I spluttered.

"A rather damp rock star," He smirked.

Glaring I reached out a hand to him, "Well could you kindly help said rockstar?"

He reached forward and his hand just grazed mine before he pulled away, an eyebrow raised, "You seriously think I'm going to fall for the oldest trick in the book?"

I squinted up at him angrily before drawing my arm back to slap it against the waters surface and splash him. Noticing my action he stepped back. His foot must have landed on an extra slippery river stone as he soon lost his balance and was flat on his back in the shallow water.

I stood, ringing my clothes out and laughed at the surprised expression on his face. "What's so funny?" He asked, mild irritation in his voice. I couldn't believe it. Tommy was actually blushing.

"A rather damp boy bander," I responded with a grin.

"Ha ha," He slowly stood to his feet, wobbling a little as he did so, "But you still have yet to say Uncle," He took a step toward me and I raced away, choosing to go in the direction I'd come in an attempt to avoid any further deep patches. Doing so involved getting past Tommy, however, and he was too quick for me. He reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back toward him. "Say Uncle," He said as he held me at arms lengths.

I shook my head rebelliously, "Never," I declared again.

He pulled me closer to him, his other hand holding my other arm, "Say it," He repeated.

I smiled and took a step closer to him so there were only a few inches separating us, "Never."

His hands slid down my arms till they were resting on my hips. His eyes searched mine momentarily and I saw hesitation behind them. It was only present for a moment before his arms slid up around my waist and pulled me close to him.

I slipped my arms around his neck and we stood there, both dripping wet and shivering – from either the cold or the moment, eyeing one another. He didn't seem as if he was going to be the first to act so I leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. There was a moment's pause before he responded ever so softly and gently before the kiss deepened.

I felt so safe there in his arms. A kind of safe I hadn't felt since I was a naïve child who believed little bad of the world and was certain my parents could protect me from any that was present. As Tommy's arms encircled me, my body pressed close to his, I could almost believe he could and would protect me from any danger that came along.

The kiss grew more passionate and I smiled against his lips then pulled back ever so slightly. His expression was confused as his eyes searched mine. "Admit defeat little Tommy Q," I said quietly, "You say Uncle."

"Uncle," He murmured as his eyes dropped to my lips. He moved forward, closing the small space between us and once again capturing my lips with his.

---

This certainly hadn't been what he'd expected from the day, Tommy decided as he held up a towel. The day was chilly and both he and Jude were regretting getting wet. They'd chosen a spot behind some bushes and with one person holding up a towel to make another wall, it made a reasonable changing room. Reasonable when you're soaking wet and cold anyway.

"Hurry up! I'm freezing," Tommy muttered as he shivered.

"Such a patient man," Jude's laughter drifted over from the other side of the towel.

He glanced up at the road, watching motorists drive past and thinking how warm they must be inside their cars. He turned back and before he'd realized he was doing it he'd peeked over the towel. Jude was just pulling on a new shirt she'd retrieved from her bag in the car. She was facing away and he could only see her back as she buttoned up the shirt.

"You better not be peeking," She called, as if she'd been reading his mind.

"Never," He responded in an offended voice as he quickly looked in the opposite direction.

A moment later Jude appeared from behind the towel, she sloppily pulled her hair up into a ponytail and grudgingly took the towel from Tommy, holding it at shoulder height as he ducked behind with his dry clothes.

"You know, this is really all your fault," Tommy remarked as he pulled of his damp shirt and unbuttoned his pants.

Jude nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see her, "Yes, all my fault that we actually had fun. What a bad girlfriend I am."

she sloppily pulled her hair up into a ponytail and grudgingly took the towel from Tommy, holding it at shoulder height as he ducked behind with his dry clothes.

"You know, this is really all your fault," Tommy remarked as he pulled of his damp shirt and unbuttoned his pants.

Jude nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see her, "Yes, all my fault that we actually had fun. What a bad girlfriend I am."

Tommy cringed slightly at the mention of the word girlfriend. He really hadn't been doing a good job on breaking up with her and his actions today would send very mixed signals when he did actually break things off between them – something he planned to do within the next twenty-four hours. He felt bad for toying with her emotions. He shrugged on a black T-shirt and a pair of black jeans before taking the towel from Jude. "We'd better get back on the road if we want to make New York by nightfall." He remarked as he strode ahead.

Jude stifled a yawn as she trudged along behind him. She hugged herself and shivered despite the layers of clothing and thick woolen sweatshirt she was wearing.

---

I peered out the window as the ever darkening sky was blocked out by tall sky scrapers. Resting my chin on my hands, I leaned against the door. "So how much farther do we have to go?" I asked Tommy, glancing over my shoulder at him.

He smirked as he changed gear, "That comment sounded a lot like 'Are we there yet?'"

I shrugged, smiling slightly, "Ok then. Are we there yet?"

He ruffled my hair, "Almost."

I leaned back in my chair, stretching slightly and feeling dog tired. I still had a pain in my chest and was starting to develop a headache. I couldn't wait to get to Tommy's temporary apartment. I planned to collapse into bed at the first possible moment.

About quarter of an hour later we pulled up in front of a tall apartment building. A valet met us on the street and Tommy handed over the keys. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked into the foyer. "Are you feeling ok?" He asked, frowning in concern as he gazed at me.

I forced a smile, "I'm just tired." To prove the point I let out a long yawn and rested my head on his shoulder. He seemed to stiffen at the action but I shrugged that thought away.

A few minutes later after nearly being lulled to sleep by the motion of the elevator, we arrived at the door to Tommy's apartment. Despite my near comatose state I still let out a gasp as I gazed wide eyed at the apartment. It was huge, twice the size of my parents home and incredibly… flash. The ceilings were twice the normal height and the rooms were tastefully decorated with expensive and stylish furniture.

Leaving Tommy to retrieve our bags from the Valet I explored the other rooms of the apartment. There was a large bathroom with a spa bath, shower and toilet that looked more like a royal throne then an actual… toilet. The kitchen was full of stainless steel and bench tops that looked as if they were brand new. Then there were three large bedrooms, or at least I think there were three. There were three more doors I didn't open after I discovered the first bedroom that actually included a bed.

Barely glancing about and taking in the window seat and view of the street and oak dressing table I made a bee line for the four poster bed, sighing happily as I sand down onto the soft surface.

"Jude I-" Tommy appeared at the door and smile amusedly at the sight of me curled up on the bottom half of the bed. I hadn't even had the energy to completely crawl on top and one foot was hanging over the edge. Tommy placed my suitcase on the floor and walked over to me, "So I take it you won't be wanting to go out for dinner?"

I shook my head or at least I thought I was shaking my head. There didn't seem to be much movement happening. "That's ok. You go out. I'm going to take a nap."

He nodded slightly and turned to leave then paused and turned back to me. He unlaced my sneakers and gently pulled them off before pulling back the blankets. He smiled, almost shyly as he scooped me up and put me down on the sheets before pulling the covers up over me, "Sweet dreams girl" He whispered as he kissed me on the forehead.

Smiling I closed my eyes and quickly drifted to a land of slumber. The last sound I heard was the soft click of the door as Tommy departed.


	18. Chapter 17: We fade to black

**Chapter 17: We fade to black**

I awoke the next morning to a strange and extremely comfortable bed. Yawning, I stretched my arms above my head and blinked sleepily before slowly sitting up. I could hear the faint sound of traffic on the street below but the apartment was otherwise silent. Shrugging a dressing gown on I quietly padded down the hallway, not wanting to wake Tommy if he was still asleep. A quick search of the rest of the apartment revealed two empty bedrooms and an otherwise empty house.

I frowned and went into the kitchen, putting some hot water on to boil and make myself a coffee. A few minutes later with coffee in hand I walked out onto the apartment's balcony that overlooked the street.

There was an electric atmosphere in the air just then. Perhaps it was the vibe of New York City or the fact that I felt youthful and hopeful but I felt this energy running through me, almost as if I could climb up on the railing, leap off and fly. A theory I had absolutely no plans of putting to the test. Don't worry.

I yawned again as I sipped my coffee and gradually began to wonder where Tommy was. The beds in the other two bedrooms didn't look slept in but then Tommy was such a neat freak he'd probably made his bed the moment he got out of it that morning.

I was just walking back into the apartment with the intention of finding my cell phone and calling him when the front door opened and Tommy walked in. He seemed surprised to see me and smiled a little, "I didn't think you were such an early bird." He remarked.

I smiled, shrugging a little, "New York City does strange things to you." Placing my coffee mug down on a table I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. I just wanted a moment of physical contact, something warm and comforting but I guess Tommy wasn't in the same headspace as me. He patted my back affectionately then gently pulled away.

"So, I have a meeting after lunch but I thought the two of us could hang out till then. Maybe go take in the sights of the big apple?" He

I smiled – brightly, happily, hopefully, _naively_, "I'd love that."

---

We were strolling down the streets of New York City in absolute silence. I glanced over at Tommy for what felt like the umpteenth time, wondering why he hadn't taken my hand and seemed determined to keep one foot between us at all times. Isn't New York supposed to be a romantic city? He had this frown on his face that caused a little wrinkle on his forehead, it was actually really cute but concerning at the same time.

Noticing a glimmer on the ground in front of me, I leaned down and picked up a shiny coin. I turned to Tommy, holding it up for him to see, "Penny for your thoughts?" I asked hopefully.

He smiled and shook his head slightly. Shrugging, I pocketed the coin. Did he not want to share his thoughts?

We walked for another block or so before I blurted out, "Are we okay?"

He stopped dead in his tracks, "What do you mean?"

I noticed we were holding up traffic and grabbed his hand, leading him toward a small alcove between two buildings. "I mean you're acting really strange," I said softly, glancing down at my feet, "I'm starting to worry."

He ran a hand through his hair as he glanced around the crowded street, "This wasn't where I planned to do this…" He muttered quietly, more to himself then me. I wasn't even sure if I'd heard the words correctly. "I've never done this before." Again he seemed to be talking to himself, despite the fact that he was looking right at me, "Well, I have but never when it mattered… never when I cared."

"Tommy! You're babbling. You never babble." I frowned. I could feel my stomach hurtling down to my ankles as an icy chill of dread crept through my veins. That pain was back in my chest only now it was worse.

"I've been thinking." Tommy was trying to look me in the eye but each time he did his eyes would drift away again, dipping down to my lips or drifting up to my hairline, "About us and… everything and I'm… I've… I'm doubting myself Jude and I'm doubting us."

"Doubting us?" I repeated the words in a dull monotone. The pain in my chest was really strong now. It felt like someone had wrapped their arms around my chest in a tight bear hug and were squeezing all the air out of me. Try as I might, I couldn't quite inhale it all back in. It was as if there wasn't enough air in the atmosphere. I was feeling dizzy.

"I think, maybe we should break up," Tommy tried to take my hand but I pulled it away as if he were on fire. I instantly regretted the action as it caused my head to throb painfully. The world seemed to be spinning. The crowd as they walked past, completely unaware of the two of us and the absolute horror that had just crept into my life, seemed to be blurred a little; they appeared to be moving really slowly.

"You… jerk!" I spat, "Why did you bring me to New York City if you just wanted to dump me like this? You led me on!" I shoved him, placing two hands against his chest and pushing firmly, "I don't believe you! I thought you _actually_ loved me! How crazy is that? Who could love me?"

"I do love you!" His eyes were wide and earnest as he tried to touch me, hug me, something. I shoved him away again.

"This isn't love, Tommy!" I was nearly screaming. My voice had that shrill pitch that always made Tommy wince when it crept into a song I was recording.

"I don't want to hurt you, Jude."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, "It's hurting, Tommy," I whispered as a tear ran down my cheek.

"Jude," His voice broke as he murmured my name. He reached out to brush away the tear but I slapped his hand away, backing till my back hit the wall behind me, "Don't. Don't. Don't." I kept repeating as I shook my head. Everything was spinning now. Looking up at the skyscrapers around us it appeared as if they were starting to fall toward me. I couldn't breath; everything was closing in on me. I felt my knees buckle and Tommy's arms wrap round me, catching me seconds before I hit the ground… seconds before everything went black.


	19. Chapter 18: Doubtless

**Chapter 18: Doubtless**

"Excuse me" Tommy approached the reception desk. The nurse rolled her eyes as he reached her, it was the fifth time he'd came over in the last hour.

After Jude had collapsed he'd screamed at passerbies to call an ambulance. It was like a dramatic scene from a movie but all he could recognize was the made beating of his heart and the sick sense of dread that told him if anything were to happen to Jude… he'd die.

"Yes sir?" She asked tersely.

"Can you give me _any_ information on my girlfriend yet? _Please_?"

She shook her head, "I'll have the Doctor speak to you as seen as he possibly can but the entire ER is backlogged today. It could be quite a wait"

Tommy walked away without another word. He brushed past a group of children leaping about as they waited for a Doctor to see to their father. He ignored the elderly couple coughing in the corner and the young gang member with a stab wound in his arm. Brushing his way through them all he pushed open the exit doors of the ER and walked out into the cool night air.

He knew he should stay and wait for news on Jude but he couldn't bear to be in that confining space of illness and worry for a moment longer.

---

He found his way to a park and sat down on a deserted park bench. His eyes were hollow and empty as he stared into space, not noticing the children playing hopscotch on the footpath to his right, or the young couple having a picnic under the tree. He didn't see anything but Jude's face.

He saw the concern that had been present since that morning, he saw it turn to dread when he'd started babbling with the intent of breaking up with her. He saw it turn to horror when she realized what he was saying, then to anger that was mostly drowned out by immense… hurt.

He'd caused her pain. Here his actions had existed with the intent of saving them both pain and he'd gone and caused it. Then she'd collapsed.

A strangled sob escaped his lips and he buried his face in his hands. If anything happened to her… he couldn't bear it. He couldn't. It was like Jude was his oxygen and if _anything_ took her away he wouldn't be able to breath. He'd curl up on the ground and die…

Jude.

Why hadn't he seen it?

She meant _everything_. He'd die to save her. He'd die to make her smile again. He'd give anything, _anything_. He'd do anything. He'd say anything. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to be alive. He wanted her to live a happy and long life. He wanted to love her and make her happy for the rest of her life.

He loved Jude.

_Really_ loved her.

No doubt. No fear.

He was 100 in love with Jude Harrison.

He leapt to his feet and started back in the direction of the hospital. He didn't notice when his brisk walk turned into a run. He didn't care about the strange looks people were giving him. All he could see was Jude.

---

The doctor glanced around the waiting room before finally spotting Tommy. Cutting a path through the various coughing and bleeding people waiting for attention, he glanced one last time at his chart before reaching Tommy, "So sorry no one has been out to see you," He began, "We're understaffed today and Emergency Rooms are always a little crazy. I'm sure you've seen _ER_ right? Things are just as hectic here. Though we don't have all the soap opera dramas going on" He raised a finger as if something had just occurred to him, "Though I wouldn't mind having a romantic tryst with a certain Nurse" He glanced over his shoulder as if searching for the Nurse in question, "She's rather-"

Tommy cut him off abruptly, "Look. I'm sure this is all rather _interesting_ but right now I just want to know about my girlfriend?"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "Girlfriend?" He glanced at his forms, "I thought it said her age was seventeen." He frowned.

"She is" Tommy felt his temper beginning to boil.

"Well!" The disapproval was clear in the Doctors eyes.

"Are you going to tell me if she's ok or not or just judge me all day?" Tommy asked angrily.

Frowning again the Doctor glanced at his chart, "She's fine. It's a combination of stress, lack of sleep and mild dehydration. She just needs to take it easy for a few days and drink a lot of fluids. I'd recommend some vitamins and a good night sleep. We've had her on an IV drip so that will have helped. She's being discharged now." Looking Tommy over one last time he shook his head in disapproval then departed.

"Thank-you!" Tommy called after him as a smile washed over his entire features. He didn't care that the Doctor was a judgmental, blabbering old fool. The only thing that mattered in his entire world was the fact that Jude – his Jude – was ok.

But there was a problem wasn't there? He could feel the thought nagging at the back of his mind.

Oh, right. He'd broken up with her…


	20. Chapter 19: Saner then ever before

**Chapter 19: Saner then ever before**

Ow. I put a hand to my aching head, wincing and determining not to open my eyes for fear the bright light would only aggravate the situation. I felt a strange sensation in my hand, and something hanging from it. Frowning slightly I opened one eye to see a drip attached to my hand.

Leaping into a sitting position I glanced around me at the clinical hospital room. As I gaped in horror memories began to wash back to me.

Tommy had broken up with me then everything had gone black. How appropriate.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, for some reason determined to stand up as if it would make everything better. My head was throbbing and I rubbed my fingertips over my temples, "I need vodka," I murmured to myself. Anything strong would work really, anything that would numb the pain.

"I don't think that would help," A familiar voice murmured.

I frowned at the white curtain that provided three of the walls of my hospital room. I could see a silhouette on the other side. "Go away Tommy." I said softly.

The curtain was brushed aside and suddenly I was standing face to face with Tommy. This time he wasn't having difficulty making eye contact. In fact _I_ was having a hard time breaking it.

"You don't need to be here," I turned and walked back to the bed, suddenly needing something soft and comforting, "The Doctor said I'm fine so you can leave and go back to your glamorous apartment and your glamorous new life. I think your life in New York City is really going to fit you." I raised a hand to silence him, knowing he was about to start speaking and interrupting in that annoying fashion of his, "I'll call Sadie to come pick me up. You don't have to be here. I don't want you to be here." I lay down in the bed, pulling the blankets over my face and blocking him out.

"Jude," I heard him shuffle over to the edge of the bed, "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear this." I was so tempted to plug my fingers into my ears and hum the chorus of 'I'm in love with my guitar'.

"I made a mistake. I do that sometimes but this one takes the cake. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Please let me take it back."

"Which mistake is that?" I pulled the blanket down to glare at him, "Bringing me to New York City with you or are we tracing back to when you first started dating me? I know! It's when you kissed me on my sixteenth birthday right? Or even all the way back when you agreed to that favor for Georgia and decided to be my Producer."

He shook his head earnestly, his eyes on mine. His eyes were so deep and murky. I'd never seen them like this before, never so full of emotion. "No," He whispered, "Those were the best things that ever happened to me."

"Save it Tommy," I muttered, once again pulling the blanket up over my head, "I'm already feeling sick."

"I love you, Jude." His voice was firm and unwavering.

"I've stopped buying it. Try a new line; 'you're just a kid', 'you're a mistake', 'I never loved you.'"

"I love you," He repeated. I could hear a tremor or emotion in his voice but I rolled my eyes then closed them tightly.

"Just go away," I whispered.

"Never."

He pulled the blankets away then placed the palms of his hands on each side of my face, looking me straight in the eye. "I love you, Jude; with everything in me. My every breath is for you."

I shook my head, or at least tried to against the unmoving force of his hands. Tears welled up in my eyes as I whispered, "That's not what you were saying this morning. You doubt us."

He shook his head and I was surprised to see a glimmer of tears there, "Not anymore. This morning I was crazy, now I'm saner then I've ever been in my life. I _love_ you."

"Don't say that." I closed my eyes against the tears that were beginning to spill over, "I'm so sick of people saying things they don't mean."

"I mean it. Please don't doubt me, Jude. Please believe me, _in_ me, again. I _love_ you."

I opened my eyes and searched his, looking for something to back up my feelings but only finding a reflection of his words. He was crying. Tom Quincy was _crying_. I'd never thought it possible. I found myself reaching forward and brushing a tear away, my thumb lingering on his cheek. He reached up and wrapped his fingers around mine, holding my hand there and pressing his forehead to it. He closed his eyes and a few tears fell to the pristine white sheets before his eyes fluttered open again and he placed urgent kisses on each of my fingers.

I felt my heart flutter as he looked up at me again, "I love you," He mouthed.

I nodded stupidly, feeling a sob well up in my chest.

Wordlessly he pulled me into his arms, pressing his lips against my forehead as he held me so close and tight I almost couldn't breath. I could feel his whole body shaking as I wrapped my arms around him, running my hand up and down in his back in a comforting way. "Ssshhh," I whispered as he cried. Cool tears fell to my shoulder as he buried his face in my neck.

It was so strange; Tommy emotional, Tommy crying, Tommy vulnerable.

"It's okay," I whispered. I placed my hands on the side of his head, bringing it up so we were face to face, "Its okay," I repeated again, looking deep into his eyes and seeing love. I leaned up to kiss his forehead but he lifted his face so that it was our lips that met. He kissed me desperately, urgently, as if everything rode on that kiss. But it didn't. I'd made up my mind.

I pulled back just enough to speak, my lips brushed against his as I spoke, "I love you."

He nodded, relief flooding his features, "I love you. I do. I really do. I'm so sorry."

I smiled, "Its okay. Everything's okay." Then I kissed him again, loving the softness of his lips against mine and the comforting feeling of his arms wrapped around me.

---

**In the approaching concluding chapters of _Hiding from the World_**

Jude and Tommy seem to finally have everything worked out but its not all smooth sailing yet. New York is a big place filled of a lot of strange faces and some familiar ones too and there are problems yet to be faced.

**Teaser Excerpt from Chapter 20: Pillow talk**

_I paid the cab driver and started up the pathway. I paused again at the door before reaching up, closing my eyes and pressing the doorbell. I could hear footsteps approaching and I braced myself. A moment later the door opened and a handsome nineteen year old man stood in front of me. He had dark black hair, delicious chocolaty skin and eyes that assured you he was trustworthy. As they say; looks can be deceiving._

_He was surprised, I could tell as my name slipped from his lips, "Jude."_

_I smiled but it was shaky and I knew he noticed, "Hi Jake."_


	21. Chapter 20: Pillow talk and an old face

**Chapter 20: Pillow talk and an old face**

When Jude was discharged from the hospital, Tommy took her straight back to the apartment, treating her as if she was made of glass – glass that was as valuable as diamonds. They ordered in and watched an old black and white movie on TV as they devoured Chinese food and sipped champagne.

Jude frowned at the nearly transparent liquid in her glass, wondering what it was she'd found so comforting in alcohol just so few months ago. It was nice but she didn't want it anymore, not the way she'd had it. A glass of wine on occasion would be nice but she decided then and there to leave it at that.

They spent the night together in the large four poster bed in Jude's room. Nothing happened, at least not in the way you might assume. The night was full of desire but nothing sexual. Tommy's desire was to hold Jude and feel her next to him; alive and well and his. He wanted the comfort of awaking in the night to find her close. Jude's desire was to rest in her newfound assurance that she was loved, that Tommy loved her and that no matter what – they'd be ok.

---

The flashing red numbers on the alarm clock red three AM as I yawned and rolled over. The bed was so comfortable and cozy and I felt completely safe and secure. I smiled at the sleeping form next to me. Tommy was lying on his stomach, his head facing away from me and one arm slung over the pillow above him. Feeling mischievous I leaned forward and placed my hands at his sides, tickling the sensitive skin.

He leapt bolt upright in the bed, suddenly awake but not really, "What's going on?" He mumbled, glancing about.

I smiled, hopefully angelically as I lay on back and gazed up at him, "You must have been dreaming," I remarked with a shrug.

He grinned and shook his head, "Nope. I don't think so. I think someone tickled me."

I frowned, my eyes wide, "But who could have done such a thing?"

He leaned down, placing his forehead against mine, "I'm thinking my wonderful girlfriend."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around him, resting my hands on his shoulder blades, "Oh, you have a girlfriend? Who is she?"

He kissed me softly, and lay down next to me, pulling me into his arms, "Jude Harrison. And she's perfect."

I grinned, "I'm not sure about perfect but yeah, she's pretty wonderful huh?"

He laughed.

I rested my head on his shoulder, "I miss Cassie," I remarked, out of the blue.

He was running his hands through my hair and the action made me feel sleepy, "Me too," He whispered. We were silent for awhile until he broke the silence, "I have a meeting tomorrow but I was thinking of cancelling it. We could hang out here for the day or if you were feeling up to it maybe we could do something in the city though I'd prefer if you just took it easy."

I shook my head softly, "No, you should go to your appointment," I closed my eyes, "I have something I should do while I'm in the city anyway."

That sparked his interest, "Really? What?"

I opened my eyes to gaze up at him, shrugging slightly, "I just… need to go see an old friend."

He was concerned, I could see it in his eyes, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, "Its fine. We'll talk about it some time, K?"

He nodded too, concern and adoration mingling in his features. I could spot the exhaustion too. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "You should go back to sleep, I promise I won't tickle you again."

His lips curled into a smile, "So it _was_ you!"

Punching him lightly in the stomach I curled up against his side, nestling my face next to his shoulder, "Good-night Tommy, I love you."

"I love you too, Jude."

---

I climbed out of the taxi, taking one of those shaky breaths that only serve to make you even more nervous then you were before. I'd traveled out into the suburbs and a plain two story house stood in front of me. The garden was immaculate and the lawn freshly mown. It was the picture of American suburbia. Is this really the American dream?

I paid the cab driver and started up the pathway. I paused again at the door before reaching up, closing my eyes and pressing the doorbell. I could hear footsteps approaching and I braced myself. A moment later the door opened and a handsome nineteen year old man stood in front of me. He had dark black hair, delicious chocolaty skin and eyes that assured you he was trustworthy. As they say; looks can be deceiving.

He was surprised, I could tell as my name slipped from his lips, "Jude."

I smiled but it was shaky and I knew he noticed, "Hi Jake."


	22. Chapter 21: Stepping into the past

**Chapter 21: Stepping into the past**

I was perched uncomfortably on the edge of a black leather sofa, a cup of coffee in one hand, radiating a heat that reminded me I was here, this was happening and I couldn't run away.

Jake sat across from me, a glass of coke in one hand, "So," he spoke bitterly, accusingly, "I heard you had a baby."

I stared down into my cup. So there wasn't going to be a moment to breath or collect my thoughts. We were going straight into it. I glanced up and met his eyes.

"So she just had her third birthday, right?" he asked, "At least that's what the tabloids say. You know, I was really good at Math in High School, right?"

I nodded, "We met in match class."

He nodded too, "Yeah, I'm really good at math…" He trailed off. He didn't need to continue, I know where he was going with this.

"Her name's Cassie." I sounded calmer, braver then I actually was. I reached into my bag and pulled out a small photo album, passing it across the table to him. "There are some pictures in there."

He flipped through the album and I noticed him pause on a picture of Tommy with Cassie on his shoulders. Finally he handed the album back to me, his eyes unreadable.

"I didn't see you as the father type." I explained.

He shook his head, "Me either."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you at the time. It was wrong but I was young and… you scared me." He glanced up at me sharply and I could tell, though his expression didn't betray it, that my comment horrified him.

I continued, "I'm not here to ask for child support or any of that. I can support Cassie myself, you don't have to do anything in fact, I think I'd like that."

He was watching me in silence.

"I'd like you to give up any rights to her, on paper," I said simply.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, "So you're saying, you want me to give up my _daughter_?" His voice had changed and I didn't like the new condescending tone. "I don't know. A father's love for his child is a strong thing," He nodded, "It's a special thing, a valuable thing."

My head shot up at his last three words, "You want money?" I asked incredulously.

He smiled icily, "Jude, you know me so well."

---

Tommy paced in front of the white suburban house, not noticing the fresh green grass or the bird singing in the tree above his head. Jude was inside and that's where he wanted to be. He knew from her eyes last night that something big was going on but at the same time he respected that she wanted to distance him from it – at least for now. So how did following her fit into that?

He glanced up at the house again, his hands in his pocket and his teeth grinding together. He had a feeling, not necessarily a bad one just… a feeling.

He strode over to the front door and rung the doorbell.

---

I was shocked when Jake returned from answering the door with Tommy. It all seemed so strange and unrelated – Tommy and Jake in this ridiculous house, in the same room. They were so different. Sure, they were both dark and handsome but who they were couldn't be more different.

And, wait, why was Tommy even here?

"What are you doing here?" I asked Tommy.

He didn't answer, just smiled softly, pleadingly.

"Jake, this is Tommy," I motioned between the two of them.

Tommy smiled and extended his hand for Jake to shake, "Her boyfriend," He supplied.

Jake nodded, "Right. Little Tommy Q." He rolled his eyes but Tommy retained his composure. Jake motioned to the room, "Take a seat."

Tommy sat next to me, taking one of my hands in his. I was surprised I wasn't annoyed at him for being there. That morning I'd left his apartment, determined to keep my life and his separate in this one last thing but now that he was here I felt better. I wished I'd asked him to come to begin with. "Jake and I were discussing our daughter," I said the words slowly, not sure if Tommy had put the two together yet but he didn't seem surprised by my revelation. He nodded so I continued, "Jake's willing to sign a paper giving up all claim to Cassie but only for a price."

It was Tommy's turn to roll his eyes but I don't think Jake noticed, "How much?" He asked, not me but Jake.

Jake's eyes were cool as he studied Tommy, "Twenty thousand." Tommy didn't even flinch though I felt my heart sink at the sum.

"Fine," Tommy agreed, "We'll see a lawyer today and make the necessary arrangements, sign the necessary papers, then I'll give you your money. Personally," He glanced over at me, "I think we're getting the better end of the deal. You'll never know what you're missing."

Something in Jake's expression told me he truly didn't care.

---

**Teasers for Chapter 22: From Selfish Motives to Noble Intentions**

_He smiled and leaned forward until his forehead was resting against mine, "You really are wise beyond your years, Jude Harrison." After a moments pause he pulled back, "But I must concede selfish motives."_


	23. Chapter 22: From Selfish Motives to

**Chapter 22: From Selfish Motives to Noble Intentions**

"I'll pay you back," I told Tommy as we strolled down a typical New York street.

Jake had been paid off and was hopefully out of mine and Cassie's life for good. There was a slight tugging of doubt in my heart at the fact that I was cutting my daughter off from knowing her father but I truly felt as if it were best for her. When I knew him Jake had been the guy who walked over everyone, used people without the slightest flicker of conscience and would sacrifice others for his own goals. Granted that was high school and people change but from what I'd seen today; Jake was the exception to the rule.

Cassie could always seek out her father in her own time if she desired it. Jake had given up legal claim to her but it wasn't as if I'd issued a restraining order against him. If his daughter ever wanted to meet him, there was nothing holding him back from meeting with her. At least, not from me, I got the feeling his own selfishness and disregard of human feelings would most likely serve a sturdy barrier.

"I don't want you to," Tommy responded with a shake of his head.

Taking both his hands in mine, I pulled him to the side of the street and out of the way of passing pedestrians. I gazed up into his eyes, "I don't want to be financially indebted to you," I said softly, "I don't think that's healthy at this point in our relationship."

He smiled and leaned forward until his forehead was resting against mine, "You really are wise beyond your years, Jude Harrison." After a moments pause he pulled back, "But I must concede selfish motives."

I glanced up at him curiously, shrugging my shoulders to show I had no idea what he meant.

"I want you," He whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, "And I want Cassie," He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "And I'm completely getting ahead of myself which is another thing not healthy in our relationship at this point but I can't help myself." He looked deep into my eyes, "I'd ask you to marry me and _believe me_ it's what I want to do but instead I'm going to state my intentions for the future and not rush us into something we're not ready for."

I felt my breath hitch as my eyes searched his.

"I want to marry you," He said softly, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to adopt Cassie," He tilted his head to the side, "Someday."

I glanced at my feet, trying to hide the fact that I felt like jumping up and down like a schoolgirl, "So this is… what?"

He shrugged, smiling slightly, "Not quite an engagement, just intentions and promises."

I interlaced my fingers with his as I smiled, "You can promise that in…" I paused and thought over a suitable time frame, "a year you'll still want to marry me; that you'll want an instant family with this instant star?"

He smiled, "_Only_ with this Instant Star." And with that he leaned down and gently kissed me, wrapping his arms around me as he pulled me into a warm embrace.

---

"Mommy!" Cassie screamed at such a high pitch I expected the windows of my house to shatter.

I smiled as I crouched down on the footpath. She barreled toward me, finally leaping into my arms and nearly knocking me over with the impact. "Hey baby," I whispered as I squeezed her tightly, "I missed you." I shifted her onto my hip and stood to my feet.

Standing next to me, Tommy crouched down so he was on face level with Cassie, "Hey Squee," He smiled at her adoringly and she squealed excitedly as she reached for him, leaning all her weight in his direction and nearly causing me to drop her.

"Great," I remarked with a roll of my eyes as I handed her to Tommy, "I guess I'm boring in comparison to her TommyTeddy."

He smiled and wrapped his free arm around me as we walked up the footpath.

"You're back!" Sadie cried as she came barreling out the front door. She pulled me into a hug then bounced on her heels as she gazed at the two of us, "So I take it all went well?"

I glanced over at Tommy then back to Sadie, "Yeah, it went well."

She put her hands on her hips and peered at Tommy, "So, are you taking the job?"

I glanced over at him again. In her marvelous fashion Sadie had asked the question I hadn't yet dared.

Tommy shook his head, "It's a standing offer so maybe someday in the future if we all agree," He looked down at me and Cassie, "it might be something to be reassessed but for now we're staying put."

I was grinning as I walked up the front steps and into the house. I loved the fact that Tommy, Cassie and I were now a 'we'. Sure, at this point we were more of a future 'we' but I had no doubt that future would come true.

Maybe someday Tommy and I would move with Cassie to New York City and start a new and exciting life. Maybe we'd move to Hawaii or Hong Kong, New Zealand or South Africa and maybe we'd stay in Toronto. It was a great bit world of possibilities.

---

**It's not quite over yet:** Stay tuned for the Epilogue.


	24. Epilogue

A/N: Thanks for all the comments everyone. I think for the most part I'm pretty disappointed with this story but I had fun writing it, at least. The ending for Tommy and Jude was kind of naive in Prodigal Son so I'm glad we got to work out the problems that would have been present for them.

If you've just lurked and read the story without commenting so far, I'd really appreciate if you could comment now it's complete. Let me know what your favorite scenes where, looking back. Etc.

**Epilogue**

I shrugged, hating the harsh glare of the studio lights burning down upon the soundstage as I smiled at the Oprah Winfreyish talk host, "I made a lot of mistakes I'm not proud of," I said slowly as I finished off the story of my past and Cassie, "But I'm human like everyone else. I guess my biggest hope is that young girls like I was will learn from my mistakes.'

The host nodded as she leaned over and patted my knee sympathetically, "But you're doing well now?" She asked.

I nodded, "I turned eighteen a few months ago. I have my daughter Cassie back. I truly can't describe how much I missed her when she was away. It was like I had this empty hole inside me and nothing could fill it. She's beautiful," I smiled and blew a kiss to Cassie in the audience. She was seated on Sadie's lap and giggled at my actions then hopped about excitedly when a cameraman swooped in on her. She loved the camera already and I must say she does seem destined for a career in showbiz but then I'm her mother and I'm completely biased to assure you that she can do or be whatever she wants to be.

The host smiled and made 'aww'ing sounds along with the audience before grinning knowingly, "So what's this I hear about a new man in your life?"

I blushed and ducked my head, "I am seeing someone actually," I remarked with a nod of my head, "His names it Tom Quincy," I glanced at the audience and grinned as they made 'ooooh' sounds, "I think you guys might know of him, he used to be in this little band Boyz Attack…" I laughed softly and turned back to the host, "He's great." I said simply.

She leaned toward me as if we were about to share a secret, "So tell me, is love in the air?"

I nodded, my eyes drifting to where Tommy stood by a cameraman, "Definitely." I remarked softly as I ran my index finger over the promise ring on my left hand, "Love and a whole lot more."

I swear, no matter what I do, I just can't wipe that ridiculous smile off my face.

---

Watch out for 'The Cassie Series' a collection of One Shot sequels regarding Tommy, Jude and Cassie, coming soon. (Unless you're reading this quite some time after it was originally posted, in which case the series would already exist...)


End file.
